


Que Sera Sera

by mage_989



Series: Que Sera Sera [6]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Community: startrekbigbang, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-14
Updated: 2013-08-22
Packaged: 2017-12-24 07:02:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 38,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/936822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mage_989/pseuds/mage_989
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock Prime went to save Romulus from a supernova and failed, leaving him in a universe that is similar and still so different from his own. Meanwhile in another part of the galaxy Kirk Prime was freed from the Nexus by Captain Picard and survived. Not believing that Spock Prime is dead Kirk Prime goes in search of him, and travels to the universe created when Nero went through the black hole. In that universe Kirk and Spock are starting on their five year mission, determined to write their own destinies after their encounters with Spock Prime. Unlike them McCoy doesn’t trust destiny as far as can throw it, and he has his own problems to deal with, like getting custody of the three year old daughter he didn’t know he had.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Que Sera Sera  
Whatever will be will be  
The future’s not ours to see  
Que Sera Sera  
What will be will be.”

Que Sera Sera

Picard rode his horse up quickly towards James T Kirk. It was both awe inspiring and yet disappointing. This was a man Picard had read about in so many books over the years. Picard had memorized all of Jim Kirk’s battle strategies and listened to every log entry he had made that Starfleet had on record. He had seen Jim as a man to be admired. Meeting him now this man was certainly not what he had expected.

Jim stared at the ground he had just jumped over with growing realization. He turned his head to Picard.

“I must have jumped that fifty times. It scared the hell out of me each time, except this time; because it isn’t real.”

Jim looked up into the distance to see a woman on another horse. Jim stared at her and Picard gave words to his thoughts.

“Antonia.”

Jim nodded.

“She isn’t real either is she? Nothing here is. Nothing here mattered.” Even if it felt to Jim as though he had just arrived this place Picard had told him that that wasn’t true. Outside of this place time had gone on without him. For almost eighty years he hadn’t done anything. He, the man who was always going on about how people needed a sense of purpose, who always needed to keep pushing forward, chasing the next big thing on the horizon. He had let himself be idle.

Picard shifted in the saddle as he listened to Jim’s words, sensing that Jim seemed to be coming around. Perhaps he was that man history painted him as after all.

Jim moved his horse around Picard’s, trying to give his restless nature an outlet. “You know maybe this isn’t about an empty house. Maybe it’s about that empty chair on the bridge of the Enterprise. Ever since I left Starfleet…I haven’t made a difference.”

When he had left his time Sulu and Chekov had still been serving, and Jim was ashamed to admit that he was jealous of them. They had had a good two decades to go before command put them out to pasture too. Uhura and Scotty had been fixing up the boat they had purchased, a project that was sure to keep them busy for the next year at least. Then they had planned to go traveling with it. Meanwhile, McCoy had started writing a manuscript for a book he wanted to publish. Spock had thrown himself head first into a new career in diplomacy, having gone to a meeting at the Vulcan embassy instead of the Enterprise B launch. Jim, unlike the rest of them, hadn’t had anything lined up. Starship captains didn’t retire, he told himself. They died in the line of duty or were promoted to flag ranks where they sat behind desks until they died of boredom. Whenever anyone asked him about his plans, he always said he would think of something someday, while privately thinking that that someday would never come; and then it had.

Jim looked over at Picard. He looked to be about the same age Jim was, probably older, maybe he could do some good after all. He shifted his horse towards the other captain.

“Captain of the Enterprise?” Jim asked.

“That’s right.”

“Close to retirement?”

“I hadn’t been planning on it but…there are more days behind than in front of me now. In light of recent personal events it is something to be considered.”

“Well, then let me tell you something. Don’t. Don’t let them promote you, don’t let them transfer you. Don’t let them do anything that takes you off the bridge of that ship, because while you’re there…you can make a difference.”

Picard locked his eyes with Jim’s, his gaze firm and sure.

“Come back with me. Help me stop Soran. Make a difference again.”

Jim considered it. He could leave here and be of some use to someone. Knowing the way these things usually worked, the odds were probably stacked against them and the situation grim. If Spock were here he would probably say that Jim was being an irrational, illogical human being for even considering a mission like that.

To Jim it sounded like fun.

But Picard had said he was from the future, from the twenty-fourth century. Eighty years from when he had been taken into this Nexus. If Jim left that passage of time would be permanent. Spock, McCoy, all his friends and family, they would all be gone. Could he live in a world like that? Not being in Starfleet anymore was one thing, but at least almost everyone around him was going through it too. Putting that up against a world where he would know nothing and no one, retirement didn’t seem so bad after all. Well why not do that then?

“What if I went back to the Enterprise B?”

Picard’s eyes widened in shock.

“I beg your pardon?”

“You said this was a temporal Nexus, and I encountered it when I was on the Enterprise B. Did Soran encounter it then as well?”

“Yes.”

Jim’s face lit up as a plan started to form in his mind.

“Then I can go back to the day I left and stop him there! The Enterprise B retrieved forty seven people from the Lakul before it was destroyed. He would be among that group. I could help him either get back into the Nexus without harming others or help him to move on from that event. Then he will never be a threat in your time.”

Picard shook his head.

“My history records that you died on that maiden voyage, Captain Kirk. If you went back in time and changed that, it could have untold consequences.”

“But you want to go back and change things don’t you?”

Picard stared at him and Jim elaborated.

“If you need my help to stop Soran he must have already succeeded in getting here. You wouldn’t have access to me otherwise. You would simply have used your own ship and crew to capture him. If you’re here then you want to undo the events that brought you and him here.”

“It’s not about me. The star that Soran destroyed was in an inhabited solar system, millions of lives will be saved.”

“Why go back to the planet then? Why not go back a week? Or a year? To a time when you have the upper hand?“

“The closer we can be to the events the less interference there will be.”

Jim glared at him. So letting a retired captain go back out to pasture could cause the time stream to collapse, but saving a solar system full of people wouldn’t?

“Then you do intend to interfere!”

“Only to change that event nothing more!”

“Why this event and not something else?”

“Because I won’t fail in my duty again!”

With those words the world around the two men suddenly shifted. Gone were the open ranges and scattered pine trees. In their place appeared a large vineyard that stretched out to the horizon, and in front of them two mud soiled old men were sitting in the dirt. Jim recognized one of them as Picard, but the other man was a stranger.

_“They took everything I was. They used me to kill and to destroy…and I couldn't stop them! I should have been able to stop them! I tried. I tried so hard... But I wasn't strong enough! I wasn't good enough! I should have been able to stop them. I should,-I should…”_

Jim watched the other Picard as he started to cry in shame at his words.

_“So, my brother is a human being after all. This is going to be with you a long time, Jean-Luc, a long time.”_

Picard watched his past self and his brother as they got up and moved off to the house.

“I failed in my duty before, so many died because of me. He helped me to come to terms with it.”

Picard sighed as he was reminded all over again that Robert would never be around to do that again.

“Believe me if I could go back and change other events I would…my brother, his son, his wife all gone.”

The Nexus shifted again to show another area of the vineyard. Picard and his brother were there again, and joined by a young boy and a beautiful woman.

Picard had to blink back tears as he looked at them.

_“I’ll be leaving for my starship soon.”_

_“Well they’ll be plenty of time for that.”_

No there wouldn’t.

“They were all the family I had. It was not even a week ago that I received the news.”

Jim looked at them. That boy was so young. He had his whole life ahead of him. As Jim looked at him Jim was reminded of how senseless death was, of how hard it was to cope for those left behind.

There was yet another shift, and this time it was for Jim and not Picard. Jim saw himself as he had been many years ago. His ship battered by fire from a Klingon Bird of Prey. His crew were surrounding him, consisting of nothing more than his friends, who had risked everything to perform a final duty for Spock and McCoy. In the smoke filled bridge, the comm crackled and Savvik’s voice cut through the air.

_“Admiral, David is dead.”_

The news did not carry the sting of shock anymore, and Jim just watched stone faced as his other self reached for his chair, falling back to the floor.

_“You Klingon bastards! You killed my son!”_

As he watched that old memory, Jim realized that he really was at a crossroads of sorts. If the Nexus was really a time gateway, where he could witness past events and leave to any point in time then he could go back and change that. He could go back decades in time and never leave Khan on Ceti Alpha Five. He could relive his whole life, knowing what was to come. He could avoid ever pitfall, change every mistake. What would it really be like to turn right somewhere in his life instead of left? To change what was? He knew that was dangerous of course, but he could save so many. Picard wanted to change one action by one man to save millions of lives, but not save three lives; the lives of those who were his family. It was only three people, why couldn’t they save them?

The world of the Nexus shifted once again at Jim’s question not to show Genesis or the Enterprise, but instead a 1930 New York street.

_“No, Jim!”_

_Twin cries from Spock and McCoy filled the air and he stopped._

_“Edith,” he whispered in agony._

_In the next instant he was hugging McCoy to hold him back from doing what his heart told him to do._

Then there came the squealing of tires and the scream he still heard in his nightmares.

_“You deliberately stopped me, Jim! I could have saved her. Do you know what you just did?!”_

_“He knows, Doctor…he knows.”_

Picard turned to Jim, confused.

“Captain?”

“Her name was Edith Keller. She was one woman and her life changed history. That’s the risk in all of this. But we don’t know the fates of everyone everywhere, so how can we assume it must by bad and therefore do nothing?”

What kind of a philosophy was that? Things might change by saving people therefore they should assume the outcome would always be negative and so stand by and simply let it happen for the sake of history. He knew there was evidence to the contrary. He and his crew had brought Gillian Taylor to the twenty-third century and nothing had changed. They had brought an extinct species back, saved the Earth, and he had made a wonderful new friend. So if the change had been positive there why was it better to do nothing here for Picard’s family? Unlike with Edith there had been evidence that changing history would have terrible consequences. That wasn’t the case here. Why couldn’t he and Picard save a boy and his parents?

At those questions the Nexus seemed to be trying to respond. The street before them began to shift, and swirl, colours blending together like paints smeared together on a canvas. This time the world didn’t shift to show another past experience of either of the two men, but instead started to rumble and shake.

“What’s going on?”

“I don’t know. You’re the expert on this place, Picard, not me.”

There was no chance for any more conversation as their horses suddenly reared up and they fell backwards…

And they landed hard into what Jim could only assume was a vineyard judging by the grape juice now splattered across his clothes from where he had crashed into a vine.

“Where are we?”

“This is my family’s vineyard.”

Jim sniffed the air. “Do you smell something burning?”

There was silence for only a second as Picard realized what was happening.

“Robert!”

In an instant Picard was up off the ground and running. He dashed towards the house, with Jim not far behind.

They could see columns of black smoke rising from the house as the approached. Jim was suddenly struck by how quiet it was.

“No alarms?” he asked, as Picard began trying to get the front door open.

“Robert is old fashioned. He doesn’t have any high level technology on the vineyard. Without it they didn’t have enough warning of the fire to escape in time.”

“Then I hope he’s all right, because I’d love to meet him. Here let me try.”

Kirk took a few good kicks at the door before it burst open for them. Pulling their shirts over their mouths they burst through the first door they came to and frantically looked around for Picard’s family.

They found them face down on the kitchen floor. Each man grabbed one person each and got the two outside of the house.

Soon the four of them crouched on the lawn, coughing and choking on ash and soot.

“Rene,” Marie choked out. “Where is Rene?”

“We didn’t see him. Where was he last?” Picard asked.

“He was upstairs.”

Jim turned around and started back to the house.

“Kirk, no it’s not safe!”

Jim ignored him and dove back into the flames.

“Kirk!”

Adrenaline coursing through him, Jim raced up the stairs and began checking every room he could find in the growing haze of smoke. In the fourth room on the left he found the boy pinned under a beam. Quickly Jim shoved it off.

“Papa?” Rene asked, dazed.

“He’s outside, he’s okay,” Jim said as he pulled Rene to his feet. Rene wobbled and Jim put his hands on the boy’s shoulders to steady him.

“It’s all right, son, I’ve got you.“

Jim grabbed Rene in his arms and ran for the nearest exit. The nearest exit turned out to be a nearby window and Jim threw himself at it, crashing through the glass. He landed hard on the roof of a room that stuck out from the first floor. Not bothering to figure out what bones he had broken, Jim picked himself up, Rene still secure in his arms, and continued his run to safety.

As he jumped off the roof to the ground Jim knew he had broken something in his ankle. Hobbling along Jim got Rene safely away from the house before exhaustion finally won out and he dropped to his knees. As shouts and running footsteps began to pound in his ears, Jim passed out cold.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock Prime went to save Romulus from a supernova and failed, leaving him in a universe that is similar and still so different from his own. Meanwhile in another part of the galaxy Kirk Prime was freed from the Nexus by Captain Picard and survived. Not believing that Spock Prime is dead Kirk Prime goes in search of him, and travels to the universe created when Nero went through the black hole. In that universe Kirk and Spock are starting on their five year mission, determined to write their own destinies after their encounters with Spock Prime. Unlike them McCoy doesn’t trust destiny as far as he can throw it, and he has his own problems to deal with, like getting custody of the three year old daughter he didn’t know he had.

Que Sera Sera

When the Enterprise finally made its way back to Earth, Leonard ‘Bones’ McCoy did something he had only seen in cheesy old movies, he kissed the ground in joy. They had survived!

From then on he was on an adrenaline high, which was good because once they had saved the Earth and the rest of the Federation the real work began. For over a week he helped run Starfleet Medical into overdrive. Casualties from the Enterprise and the refugees from Vulcan poured into the facility. To make matters worse aftershocks from Nero’s drill caused the entire city and the surrounding area to shake. Another state of emergency was addressed on top of the one they already had. Many of those injured during the earthquakes were diverted to Starfleet medical to ease the flow of patients to other hospitals; and so Bones’ work continued. Kirk and Spock stayed by his side to help as much as they could, while Chekov, Sulu, Scotty, and Uhura ran around campus drumming up supplies and volunteers.

Meanwhile the rest of the fleet was dispatched to Vulcan to search for survivors. Miraculously there were some. A few dozen starship escape pods were found. A handful of Vulcan evacuation ships were discovered on Delta Vega, along with one very annoyed Starfleet officer. They too were brought back to Starfleet Headquarters. With the news of the Vulcan atrocity spreading families swarmed the campus, desperately hoping to find their loved ones among the survivors.

Kirk and Spock worked tirelessly to identify everyone. With Uhura’s help they flooded communications and Starfleet databases, to get in contact with the Vulcan colonies and embassies on other worlds, to determine who had and had not been on or near Vulcan during the disaster. Still, during the entire proceedings, even as some of the follow shipmates were embracing their families with tears of joy running down their faces in the hallways, Spock, Bones, and Kirk never talked about their own families.

Bones’ divorce had left a lot of unhappy people in its wake, including his parents. They hadn’t talked much in the last three years so it never occurred to him to call them and let them know he was all right. Jim’s mother was on one of the ships doing rescue operations in the fleet. He hadn’t been contacted by Winona and so saw no reason to confirm that one of the last members of her family was very much alive. For Spock the only family he had left was currently at the embassy shoring up alliances and soothing diplomatic feathers. Sarek was letting the political structure know that the loss of Earth’s oldest ally’s home world could be overcome, and that no other worlds were at risk from this. Now was unfortunately not the time for heartfelt personal discussions.

So it was truly shocking when, after living on caffeine and stimulants had nearly gotten them checked in as patients themselves, Kirk and Bones went back to their dorm room and Bones found several messages from his parents. They sounded frantic in all of them and told him to call them back right away.

Taking his outdated communicator and going out on the small balcony, so as not to disturb Kirk who was currently snoring up a storm on the couch, because the tremors had burst a pipe in the wall and the bedroom was now flooded, he called them back.

“Mom, Dad? What is it?”

Elaine Dora McCoy looked upon the slightly distorted image of her baby boy.

“Oh, David, he’s alive!”

She turned away from the screen, sobbing into her husband’s shoulder.

Bones stared at them, utterly confused. This was not what he had been expecting.

David McCoy tried to discreetly rub at his eyes, and cleared his throat.

“We’ve been calling you for two days, Leonard. No one could tell us anything. They just kept saying you weren’t on any list!”

Bones nearly dropped the communicator. Oh, sweet Jesus they had actually thought he was dead!

“I’m so sorry I’ve been on staff at Medical since my ship got back to Earth. They wouldn’t have put my name on any of the lists.”

Elaine let go of her husband and glared at her son. “And you couldn’t find two minutes to call us!?”

Bones felt like he was five years old again, with his hand caught in the cookie jar. He shrugged helplessly.

“With the way things have been between us I didn’t think you would want me to.”

“You thought that we wouldn’t want to know that our only son wasn’t dead!” Elaine yelled.

“I believe your exact words were ‘if you walk out of here in disgrace I never want to hear from you again.’ Was that your way of saying you loved me?”

Elaine scowled and lowered her eyes.

“That’s no excuse. The divorce was hard on everyone and to think that you would be so thoughtless now…along with-with everything else.”

David put a hand on her shoulder.

“Elaine, don’t blame him he doesn’t know.”

She sighed and squeezed his hand. “You’re right, you’re right I just…it’s hard, David, it’s just hard.”

Bones raised an eyebrow at that. Between his mother’s words and her actions she seemed almost…frail, never a word he would use to describe her. His mother did not act like that, ever.

“What’s going on? What don’t I know?”

David sighed and pinched the bridge of nose, looking like he really didn’t want to talk about this, and Bones was starting to think he really didn’t want to hear about it.

“Leonard…there’s been an accident.”

That time Bones did drop the communicator.

After scrambling to pick it up and make sure it wasn’t broken he held it with trembling hands.

“What happened? Are you two all right?”

“Yes,” David said, “we weren’t involved-I mean not directly I…it would really be better if you were here to talk about everything, Leonard. This…this isn’t something you should be told like this.”

He could go to see them then. The worst was over, at least here. He could afford to leave now.

“I’ll be out there on the next flight out then and…”

He looked at them. They seemed tired, drained really. Bones knew some of that was from worrying that he was gone forever. Even if the relationship had been strained for the past few years they had deserved better than this.

“Mom, Dad, I love you.”

“We love you too, son. We’ll see you soon.”

Bones nodded. With that he turned off the link and slumped again the railing, wondering what he was going to do with himself until the shuttles left in the morning. He was so wired about whatever had happened with his folks that it would take him at least two hours to fall asleep now. It would probably be longer because he would have to sleep on the floor; the couch wasn’t big enough for two. That would just be murder on his back and…oh to hell with it he would sleep on the shuttle. He couldn’t get anxiety attacks if he closed his eyes for the entire trip anyway.

With the rest of the night now free to do nothing but worry he went to prepare. Sloshing his way through the bedroom, Bones rescued as many items of clothing as he could and stuffed them into his old gym bag. Then he went into the bathroom to try and make himself presentable. No need to show up back home looking like Grizzly Adams, these were his parents after all. If they had taught him anything is was that he was to look respectable in their home. He went into the shower and did his best to wash off the sweat, blood, and memories of recent events. He combed his hair, shaved off his beard, and brushed his teeth. Then tossed all those used grooming items into his bag. When he thought he finally looked like a human being again he went back out to the balcony to wait.

He sighed as he leaned the railing and looked out at the Academy. It was still so strange. The campus was so quiet now. For the three years he had called this place home there was always something going on. If Kirk wasn’t dragging him off to some bar, or dragging people in from the bar trying to start a party in their dorm room, then there were people holding games on the lawns in front of the dorm buildings. Shuttles were always going in and out, the researches labs always had their lights on for experiments that were running day and night.

Now the lawns stood empty. The research building was dark. The shuttles were on a strict schedule, and Bones knew that when graduation came around most of his classmates would never cross the stage. Bones gave a world weary sigh as he slid down into the tiny chair he and Kirk had managed to squeeze out there, closed his eyes, and listened to the crickets chirp.

***

By some miracle he did manage to sleep away a few hours in that chair and in the morning he left a note for Kirk, grabbed his bag, and headed across campus.

As he walked across the shuttle-bay, Bones saw that Spock was there too. He stopped for a moment as he saw that Spock was talking to another Vulcan who was dressed all in black. Bones quirked an eyebrow at that, he looked like a Vulcan elder judging by the grey hair, but Bones didn’t remember seeing him during the relief efforts. Bones shrugged and walked on, he had probably just overlooked the elder in the chaos of everything, forgetting a face was pretty easy in times like this and right now he had more important things to worry about.

He was going home.

***

It was hot and muggy as Bones stepped out of the air conditioned shuttle-port. Summer had official arrived in Georgia. He sweated hard as walked down to the bus station and he bounced around, cursing silently, as the bus travelled on the roads to the edges of Atlanta.

He couldn’t help but smile though when he finally caught sight of his childhood home. It still hadn’t changed. He got off the bus and made his way slowly across the sprawling grounds, passing the rows of peach trees that were ready to be picked. Walking across the long porch he had played on so much as a boy, he breathed in the sweet smell of the honeysuckle growing on the pillars that held up the roof. Then he straightened his shirt and smoothed down his hair and knocked on the door.

The door opened a minute later to reveal his dad.

“Leonard! You made excellent time. How was the trip?”

“Bumpy.”

“Yes, fixin’ the roads is on the county to do list I’ve been assured.”

David ushered him inside had him drop his bag down into the nearest chair and then looked him over. He smiled warmly as he put his hands on Bones’ shoulders and admired his son.

“You look good, Len.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

“Oh, Leonard, thank heavens you’re here!”

David stepped back and Elaine ran over and hugged her son tightly.

“Hi, mom, nice to see you too,” Bones squeaked out as his mother kept squeezing his rib cage.

Elaine kissed his cheek as she let go and smiled at him as she tried to dry her tears.

“Come on let’s all sit down.”

They made there were into the living room and were just about to sit down when David suddenly doubled over, gasping in pain, and leaned on the table for support.

“Dad!”

Bones dove into his pocket and he pulled out his scanner. In a family full of doctors he knew how important it was to keep one on hand.

“I’m all right, I’m all right! You don’t need to run that fancy gadget over me.”

Bones pulled the instrument back and frowned at the results.

“High KT numbers, high blood pressure, and low white count don’t say fine to me.”

David sighed. “I should have known better than to think I could slip this by you.”

“Dad, what’s wrong?”

His father sighed and stared at the floor. “I’m dying, Leonard.”

David sat down and spent the next ten minutes explaining his condition.

Bones did his best to take it all in. This was the kind of news he had to deliver to others. It was never something he thought he would ever receive. At least not yet, his dad was always so healthy. “But Dad, you’ve always gone for every check-up and exam they had to have got it early.”

“You know that doesn’t matter for this disease, Len. I’m sorry to have to tell you this when you’ve had God knows what else going on.”

“Dad, all you friends are in medicine or research they must be able to do something.”

David nodded softly.

“Yes, we’ve all known each other for years. So, they’ll provide the best comfort and care they can when it becomes necessary.”

Bones nodded slowly, this was the way his dad was. He always was one to face problems head on.

“How long?” Bones asked.

“I’ve got about two years.”

Bones stood up leaned over the table and hugged his dad.

“I’m sorry.”

“I am too, Len,” David said as he pulled away. “Sorry I have to put you all through this and sorry that this wasn’t even what we wanted you to come here for.”

Bones let his jaw fall open in shock, his knees gave out and he collapsed back onto the couch.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I wish we were.”

They say there in silence for a while until Elaine finally spoke up.

“Like we said when you called, Leonard, there’s been an accident. It was just on the highway, on the turn they promised they were going to fix in a month.“ Elaine stopped for a moment, her hand pressed to her mouth and then continued. “ Jocelyn was in the car…the call came in just yesterday. She–she didn’t make it.”

Bones gasped. No, it couldn’t be.

“You’re sure it was her?”

Elaine nodded.

Bones sank back into the couch cushions and buried his face in his hands, feeling every ounce of energy drained out of him. Just like that she was gone. Why did he keep losing everyone?! She was his ex-wife of course they hadn’t parted on friendly terms, but just because he didn’t want to see her again that didn’t mean he _really_ never wanted to see her again. She was so young she should have had so much time.

Bones sighed slowly. “Mom, Dad, I’m glad you told me in person, but you didn’t really have to do that. We were divorced, all of our assets, items, were divided up three years ago. Anything in her Will and estate will have nothing to do with me.”

“That’s where you might be wrong, Leonard,” Elaine said. “There was a passenger in the car, a three year old girl; her daughter.”

Bones pulled his head up from his hands.

“She met someone else so soon?”

“No, not that we knew of...and that’s why you’re here, Len. We wanted you to test yourself to…to see if she’s yours.”

***

Bones was numb as he went to the hospital. After he explained his situation he was taken to an exam room for testing. When the test was over and the results known a nurse told Bones to follow him and he was shown into a room with a single occupant. They had told her she was stable and could wake up at any time.

Bones pulled over a chair and sat next to the bed. As he looked at her he rubbed his hand over the bandage on his left middle finger. It was such a small thing. It had been such a short test and yet it had changed his whole life.

It had told him that he was a father.

Bones looked at the child who looked so small and fragile in the hospital bed, tears filling his eyes. She was his little girl. They told him her name was Joanna. It was a pretty name. He reached for her, running his hand lightly over her soft brown hair that fell just beyond her shoulders. He wondered what colour her eyes were.

Then he started to wonder how he was going to rearrange his life to deal with raising her. He knew neither set of grandparents would be up to the task now. His mom had his dad to worry about and Jocelyn’s parents were overwhelmed by their own grief. He couldn’t blame them Jocelyn had been their only child. Still it was terrifying to think that it would all be up to him. He had enough trouble keeping his life together as it was.

Suddenly there was a moan from the bed just then and the little girl opened her eyes, they were brown like his. She licked her lips and tried to talk, but only managed a dry cough.

Bones opened up a package of moist wipes that the nurses had left on the small nightstand near the bed. Carefully wiped her mouth and let her drink from the cup of water the doctor had left for her. When she had drank her fill she asked him an important question.

“Mama?”

That one word made Bones want to curl up on the floor and die.

“Mama…mama can’t be with you anymore,” he answered softly.

Joanna started crying

“I want mama!”

She started crying harder and the agitation set off the alarms in the monitoring machines. Being three years old the sound only served to frighten Joanna further and she started screaming for her mother all the more. Bones just sat there helplessly as the doctor and nurses rushed in to calm her down.

How was he ever supposed to make a life, a family, for her out of this mess?


	3. Fic Que Sera Sera (3/15)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock Prime went to save Romulus from a supernova and failed, leaving him in a universe that is similar and still so different from his own. Meanwhile in another part of the galaxy Kirk Prime was freed from the Nexus by Captain Picard and survived. Not believing that Spock Prime is dead Kirk Prime goes in search of him, and travels to the universe created when Nero went through the black hole. In that universe Kirk and Spock are starting on their five year mission, determined to write their own destinies after their encounters with Spock Prime. Unlike them McCoy doesn’t trust destiny as far as he can throw it, and he has his own problems to deal with, like getting custody of the three year old daughter he didn’t know he had.

Que Sera Sera

Jim woke up in sickbay. He knew that was where he was, even as he opened his eyes and didn’t know what any of the displays around him did or meant; the smell of antiseptic hadn’t changed in eighty years.

He tried to sit up as a woman came over to him.

“I’m Doctor Beverly Crusher, Captain Kirk. You’ve been treated for secondary burns, a broken ankle, smoke inhalation, and several cuts and abrasions. You are a very lucky man.”

“Where am I?”

“You’re aboard my ship, Captain, the Enterprise D,” Picard said, coming up to the bed. “We brought you here to finish your recovery to avoid any…unwanted attention.”

Jim quickly sat up properly and grabbed Picard’s shoulder.

”Your family, are they all right?”

Picard nodded. “They are recovering, thank you.”

Doctor Crusher began running a tricorder over him, taking new readings.

“You should remain still and rest, Captain Kirk, you’ve been through quite the ordeal. From what Jean-Luc has told me when he tried to explain how he was on Earth with a man presumed dead for over seventy years, when his ship was half-way across the quadrant.”

Crusher looked over to Picard. “You’re going to be spending a long time explaining this to temporal investigations, especially because their most infamous violator is involved.”

Picard sighed. “Thank you, Beverly, I’m well aware of that. Perhaps you could keep your patient healthy so he can give his testimony properly when they get here.”

“I’ll try, but I’ve been informed that you can be a difficult patient. Would it be worth it to ask you to remain in here and rest?”

Jim couldn’t hold back a smile.

“Now how could I ignore the request of such a lovely woman? I must say you’re a lot nicer about it than the last time person I dealt with when I was in a sickbay.”

“Well, if you weren’t such a complete idiot about your health, Jim, I wouldn’t have had to be so hard on you.”

Jim gasped and whipped his head around towards that voice.

It was incredible, impossible even, but across the room McCoy was standing there. He had his arms folded across his chest, smiling softly, and looking as though no time had passed at all; if one ignored the different uniform. Why was the uniform different anyway? Who at Starfleet Command had nothing better to do but constantly re-design the damn things!?

Jim shook his head and focused on the man in the uniform. The Nexus had to have done something to his mind, maybe he had never even left it. It couldn’t possibly be that McCoy was still alive, still here, certainly not looking like that. It had to be a clone, or an android, or some relative with a really lucky roll of the genetic dice. It just couldn’t possibly be him.

“You going to stare at me all day, Jim, or act like a man with manners?”

The accent was definitely thicker than he remembered, but the sarcasm was all McCoy.

“Bones?”

“We thought it would be good if you had something-someone familiar with you now,” Crusher said.

Now ignoring Doctor Crusher’s request to remain where he was Jim bolted off the bed. He grabbed for McCoy, pushing them both backwards and causing several items to fall off a table as they stumbled into it. Jim didn’t care as he looked at those perfect blue eyes, brimming with tears just like his, and then kissed McCoy hard. He pressed his lips open so his tongue could probe that long forgotten mouth. And yes he still tasted right. The hair he was running his hand through was just the right thickness. His other hand traced over McCoy’s back, feeling the edges of bone because the man never ate any of his home cooking anymore and…oh god it really was him! He was here, he was alive!

Crusher and Picard gaped at them.

“Apparently we found the right person,” she said.

“Indeed.”

McCoy finally broke the kiss and buried his face in Jim’s neck, his shoulders shaking.

“I love you, Jim. I love you!”

“I love you too, Bones.”

When Jim felt sure that this wasn’t a dream, and McCoy wasn’t going to vanish into nothing he slowly pulled back, keeping his hands on McCoy’s shoulders.

“But, Bones, how can this…you? I mean you should be…”

“144 according to Starfleet records.” He glanced down at the floor. “You know I never liked transporters, Jim, and scattering my atoms all over space finally caught up with me, in a way.”

“With him on active duty at least it gave us an excuse to get him out of those awful flare-bottom pants,” Crusher injected.

McCoy made a half-hearted attempt to glare at her.

“Those pants were popular in my day, Doctor, I’ll have you know.”

Jim looked between them “You know her?” he asked.

McCoy nodded.

“I’m only semi-retired, Jim. I met Doctor Crusher about seven years ago, I over saw medical layout on this ship when they launched her.”

“He was a great help to us, Captain Kirk. The admiral proved invaluable in surgical set-up.”

Jim’s eyes went wide as he realized what the arrangement of gold pips on the collar of McCoy’s uniform signified.

“Admiral McCoy?” he asked with a grin.

McCoy shrugged. “Just because you couldn’t deal with the rank, Jim, doesn’t mean we all can’t.”

Further banter was cut off as the sickbay door slid open and an Ensign rushed in.

“Urgent message for you, Captain.”

“What’s going on?” Picard asked, taking the PADD the boy held out to him.

“Conflicting reports are coming in from Romulan space, sir, about their home planet. We are to head to the neutral zone immediately to begin investigating.”

McCoy’s face went white and Jim gripped his shoulder.

“Bones, what is it?”

“Spock is on Romulus, Jim, attempting reunification.”

Picard looked at him sternly.

“Those files are classified.”

McCoy glared back at him. “Not to an admiral they’re not.”

Jim leaned against McCoy as the news sunk in. The universe did always seem to like doing things like this to him. Letting him have the joy and elation of seeing McCoy alive and healthy, only to find out that the other part of their relationship might still be gone.

“I need a drink,” he said.

Picard looked at Doctor Crusher who practically waved them out of her sickbay. “Go on, I’m never going to get to him stay here and rest now so you might as well leave.”

“I’ll escort you to Ten Forward and have Guinan pull out the non-synthehol options.”

Jim looked at Picard.

“You have a bar on your ship?”

“I do, Captain Kirk.”

“Call me Jim.”

Picard took them to the aforementioned Ten Forward where a woman who introduced herself as Guinan got them their drinks and they sat around a table.

Jim looked at her as he sipped his drink.

“You come from the Nexus,” he said.

Guinan stared at him.

“How do you know that?” she asked.

Jim frowned. “I don’t know.”

“Well, you are right I was there once, and it was like being inside pure joy.”

Jim grimaced as he remembered all the time he had wasted there, with nothing.

“Not for me it wasn’t.”

“What happened in there, Jim?” McCoy asked.

“It…it was like being on Amerind. I had no responsibilities, no cares.”

“Tahiti syndrome,” McCoy remarked, and downed his Altair water.

“I was at my old cabin back when I was going tell you and Spock that I wanted to go back to Starfleet, to accept our new mission after V’Ger. Only I was with woman…Antonia.”

McCoy frowned at the name trying to remember who that was. “Antonia?”

Jim shrugged. “I don’t know who she is either. I told Picard that I knew, but looking at things properly now I know I didn’t. It was like a patchwork of my life was built in there, and it certainly wasn’t joy that I felt there just…contentment, peace maybe.”

“You are human and I’m an El-Aurian perhaps it’s different for different species. Picard said he was able to see through the illusion of the Nexus, and I did not until I was pulled out of it. Yet it seems we are the two of us, you and me, connected by the Nexus. It was the Enterprise B that rescued me from the Nexus all those years ago,” Guinan told Jim.

“Really?”

“Yes, in a strange way it seems time has pulled right here, together again.”

Jim finished his drink and twisted the glass in his hands. “Spock, once described it as time being fluid like a river, with eddies, currents, backwash. Maybe the currents of time worked to carry us to this specific point.”

Further analysis stopped as a pale figured entered the bar and came up to their table. Jim stared at him, but McCoy held out one hand.

“Commander Data, we meet again.”

“Admiral McCoy, Captain Kirk, since you will be with us longer than we thought in light of the emergency Captain Picard has asked me to assign you both guest quarters.”

“Separate quarters won’t be necessary,” Jim said, as he ran his thumb over McCoy’s hand.

“I see, well then if you’ll both follow me.”

They thanked Guinan and followed Data out of Ten Forward. As they walked down the hallways Jim couldn’t help but stare at the man.

“I don’t mean to be rude, but what are you?”

“I am an android.”

“An android officer?”

“Yes, I have moved through the ranks appropriately.”

“Well, then, Commander, can you tell us anymore about the incident going on with Romulus?”

“That information is reserved for active personnel only. But I understand why you want to know, Captain Kirk. Ambassador Spock was your former crewmember and your friend.”

“He is all that and more,” Jim said.

“Captain Kirk, I would like you to know that I hope would do find him well on Romulus. I had the chance to meet him before when he went there undercover to begin his solo mission on reunification. The ambassador was a…fascinating man.”

Data couldn’t have known that those were the worst words he could have used to describe what Spock was doing on Romulus.

Jim‘s eyes darkened as they reached their assigned quarters and McCoy tensed. He knew that signalled the fury that was coming.

McCoy didn’t have to wait long as the door had barely closed behind them when Jim exploded.

“He went there undercover, and alone?!”

“Jim, he was the diplomat not me.”

“Don’t make excuses, Bones!”

“I’m not, Captain! I’m trying to explain what happened and I will pull rank if I have to, these pips are not just for show!”

Jim huffed and clenched his hands at his sides.

“Explain it to me then.”

“Jim, you have to understand it isn’t like it was when we were dealing with the Klingons. Spock is a full ambassador now. He has the ability to bend the rules in many ways, but even he knew going to Romulus with a full delegation wasn’t possible. After that fiasco with the Klingon peace conference that thick-headed Vulcan won’t risk anyone but himself.”

“Why didn’t you go with him anyway?”

“I wanted to. I tried to. I realized it wasn’t right to separate again no matter the risks. I went after him the very day he left. I stepped onto a transporter pad at Spacedock, and the next thing I knew I was waking up in a hospital room with half my lifespan missing.”

“That’s how you got like this?”

McCoy nodded.

“You didn’t try again after that? Hell you shouldn’t have even had to, Spock should have come back for you.”

McCoy shook his head and walked over to the window. Staring out at the stars he let his mind drift back.

“Jim, you don’t understand. That accident happened three years ago. Two of those years I spent in ‘atom limbo’. Over this last year I’ve tried to contact him, but the Romulans haven’t changed since our day, Jim. If anything they’ve gotten worse. Starfleet won’t let me go for fear of blowing his cover, and yet they won’t give him any support at all, and he still thinks I’m…”

“At the time of the accident Spock would have been told-oh, Bones.”

“He doesn’t know I’m alive and I can’t change that!” McCoy pounded his fist against the window. “It’s not supposed to be like this. I’m the oldest of us goddamn it. You two were supposed to bury me! I wasn’t supposed to be alone! I wasn’t supposed to go through this again!”

Jim came over and pulled McCoy close to him.

“Bones, I’m so sorry.”

McCoy buried his face in Jim’s shoulder. He thought back to the last time he and Spock had been together. It hadn’t been anything special, but after Spock told him he was leaving McCoy had wanted something to hold on to. They had spent the day together at the apartment. The sun sinking low as they lay on the couch together. As the music of Johnny Mathis’ ‘Wonderful, Wonderful’ played in the background, and they savoured their love, knowing that their time was growing short. McCoy was glad they had done that. It had made the time without Spock easier to bear.

“I should be used to this by now, but I’m not. Jim, when you disappeared on the Enterprise B we were devastated. After the funeral I actually handcuffed Spock and I together for three days straight, because I was terrified that he would run off to Gol again and I’d be left alone.”

Jim felt like a large rock had settled in his stomach.

“You really had a funeral for me?”

“You were Starfleet’s golden boy, Jim, they went all out for it. You even have a tombstone. Spock and I went to visit it sometimes, but it never seemed right. Never felt like we were ever connecting with you. Only when we were in the stars was it right. It’s nice to know that it wasn’t all just a bunch of wishful thinking on our parts. Still, we made it through, and we’ve had some really good years since then; but the knowledge was always there that one of us would eventually be alone. Vulcan lifespans being what they are the odds weren’t in my favour. I did my best to make my life last as long as it could. But to be the only one of us left now. Oh, Jim, we both know how Spock handles loss. He’d throw himself into his work, close himself off from our friends in that Vulcan way that he does.”

Jim knew it was true and would have said so, but something else McCoy said caught his attention. He brushed one hand along McCoy’s face tilting his chin so he could look at him properly.

“Our friends? Then are-are they all still…alive?”

“Yes, Jim, they are.”

“Then, then what have they been doing? What have you been doing? Tell me everything, Bones, tell me everything. What happened to our crew, and what about Joanna? Did she ever get married? Does she have children? What about Peter and Savvik and did you ever finish that book?!“

“Whoa slow down, Jim!” McCoy exclaimed. “You’re still supposed to be resting. Look let’s go lie down and I’ll tell whatever you want to know. ”

Jim agreed without compliant and tugged McCoy into the bedroom. McCoy stretched out on the bed, his hand intertwined with Jim’s, and he let his mind pulled fond memories forward.

“Joanna got married. Two years after your disappearance. She really was my daughter that way. The people she married were her captain and her first officer.”

Jim sat up, his eyes wide. “You’re serious?”

McCoy nodded. “As if that wasn’t humiliating enough her captain is a Vulcan. She was happy though, so I learned to deal with it. They had children, six all together, and every summer the old McCoy homestead had little pointed ear hobgoblins picking peaches out of the trees. Telling me it wasn’t logical to make mint juleps in the bathroom. They adored Spock though, and he was wonderful with them.”

McCoy pulled their hands up from the bed. He leaned forward and kissed Jim’s hand softly for some time before continuing.

“Peter passed away some years ago now, but not without leaving a library’s worth of research behind him. Chekov and Sulu stayed in the service until Starfleet quite literally threw them out. Uhura and Scotty…well that is a bit complicated, but right now those two are more in love then I’ve ever seen them. ”

Jim smiled, and was content listening to the southern drawl of McCoy’s voice as he relieved fond memories; slowly Jim let himself sink down under the covers and fall asleep.


	4. (4/15)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock Prime went to save Romulus from a supernova and failed, leaving him in a universe that is similar and still so different from his own. Meanwhile in another part of the galaxy Kirk Prime was freed from the Nexus by Captain Picard and survived. Not believing that Spock Prime is dead Kirk Prime goes in search of him, and travels to the universe created when Nero went through the black hole. In that universe Kirk and Spock are starting on their five year mission, determined to write their own destinies after their encounters with Spock Prime. Unlike them McCoy doesn’t trust destiny as far as he can throw it, and he has his own problems to deal with, like getting custody of the three year old daughter he didn’t know he had.

Que Sera Sera

McCoy woke up alone. He opened his eyes to see an empty bed, the blanket and sheets beside him neatly pulled in around the mattress. For one terrifying moment he was certain that the events of the last few days were just some desperate fantasy dreamed up by a senile old man, until he heard the sound of someone moving around in the other room.

He got up and found Jim on the couch staring at the computer.

“Don’t you ever take a break?” he asked.

“Just trying to catch up on everything I’ve missed,” Jim said. “You’ve told me a lot, but political issues and Starfleet protocol don’t make good bedroom talk.”

“I’ll agree with that,” McCoy answered, kissing Jim on the cheek and then going to the replicator to track down some coffee for them.

When McCoy returned he set two mugs down on the table and sat down beside Jim. Then he sipped his drink in silence as he watched Jim work.

As McCoy just continued to sit there Jim looked at him, slightly miffed that McCoy felt the need to supervise him.

“You don’t have to babysit me, Bones, I do remember how these things work.”

“I know, Jim, I just…need this.”

Jim’s annoyance disappeared at those words and all at once he was struck by how difficult all of this had to be for McCoy. For Jim it felt like he had left the universe only yesterday, even though everything liked to remind him about how much time had really passed. McCoy on the other hand had lived every one of those nearly eighty years with the certainty that he would never be able to just sit in Jim’s company again. Jim could put up with him being clingy.

“Of course, Bones, and you know I think I can find something better for us to do together,” Jim said, pushing the computer aside.

“Oh you can, can you?” McCoy asked, as Jim leaned in and started kissing the side of his neck.

“Yes, we are guests on this ship after all and I think we should take advantage of the quarters provided to us.”

Jim shifted them until McCoy was flat on the couch and Jim was resting gently on top of him.

“I like this ship, Bones, the rooms are so big now. No need to worry about curious ensigns listening at the doors. We aren’t on duty so there won’t be anything to interrupt us.”

McCoy’s arms came around to grip Jim’s shoulders and he kissed him deeply, they rolled over…

And both of them were suddenly on the floor.

“And I hate that they haven’t made the couches any bigger,” Jim grumbled.

Slowly they got themselves back on the couch in one piece.

“Now where were we?” Jim asked with a grin.

“Before or after you tried to break my hip?”

Before they could continue though there was a buzz at the door.

Jim sighed and shifted away from McCoy.

“So much for not being disturbed,” McCoy groused, while Jim acknowledged their visitor.

“Come in,” he called.

Picard came in. In an instant Jim was off the couch and striding towards him, McCoy close behind Jim.

“Jean-Luc, has there been any news?” Jim asked desperately.

Picard looked at both men gravely.

“Yes…I, Jim, Admiral McCoy, Romulus is gone.”

Picard might as well have spoken in Klingon, because Jim couldn’t bring himself to comprehend what he had just heard.

“Gone? What do you mean gone?”

“Our scans of the area report that there is no planet in Romulus’ position anymore.”

Jim just continued to stare at Picard.

“How does an entire planet just disappear?” he asked.

“According to our readings the planet was a casualty of a supernova.”

“Then there could be survivors. Supernovas don’t just come out of nowhere. They would have had warning. They would have evacuated…we have to look for him. We can’t just leave Spock there!”

“Jim, there is nothing there, there is nothing more we can do.”

“That was the same assumption everyone made when I was caught by the Nexus, and I’m still here!”

“Jim, even if there were anything there we cannot cross the neutral zone. You have been away from Starfleet for a long time, and you should know that the Federation no longer engages in…cowboy diplomacy.”

“What diplomacy?! There’s no Romulan Empire to engage in relations with!”

“But there is, Jim. They hold territory beyond their home-world and the loss of that world doesn’t change their borders. Any attempt on the part of the Federation to enter their space will be seen as an attack and dealt with accordingly. I’m sorry.”

“Could you give us a shuttle then? We will take all responsibilities for our own actions. There will be no consequences to Starfleet or the Federation.”

Picard sighed and shook his head. “I’m sorry, I can’t do that. We are returning to Earth now so I can give all these news to the Federation in person and receive further instructions. You can establish yourself in San Francisco while we wait for the investigations to be completed. You may contact Starfleet when we have more information. That is the best we can do right now.”

Picard left the room after that, and McCoy kept a strong grip on Jim’s arm to stop him from going after the other captain and getting himself thrown in the brig.

“Bones, we can’t just stand by and do nothing.”

“I know, Jim, I want Spock back too, and I think I know some people who can help us search for him.”

***

With that conversation between Jim and Picard the trip back to Earth was frosty to say the least. Picard ran the ship and avoided Jim as best as he could, mostly by staying on the bridge and pestering the communications officer for news about the improving health of his family. Not that Jim was deterred as he worked to catch Picard in the halls, ignoring the curious stares he would get from crewmembers who knew their Starfleet history.

Meanwhile McCoy went to work on the computer Jim had abandoned. Using his clearance as an admiral he got in touch with a friend back home. McCoy knew he would help them and that he had a ship they could use. Then he got into contact with a man could provide a full explanation for whatever had happened to Romulus.

He had just signed off when Jim came storming back in the room.

“You’re a great help, Bones, really.” Jim said sarcastically. “Instead of standing around doing nothing you’re going to sit around nothing. Don’t you care about Spock at all?!”

McCoy glared at Jim furiously.

“Don’t tell me I don’t care about him! You know better. Or was all that sympathy last night just an act?”

Jim’s anger deflated and he sat down on the couch, world-weary and tired. He really was getting too old for this.

“No, Bones, I’m sorry. You know how well I deal with being helpless; and I just never thought we’d have to go through this again.”

McCoy squeezed Jim’s shoulder tightly.

“We don’t know if he’s really gone, Jim, and like I said there are people out there who can help us find out for sure.”

Jim nodded. He knew he shouldn’t be such an ass about all this, he loved McCoy. Jim was grateful beyond measure that McCoy was still here, but he knew that they wouldn’t be truly complete without Spock. Still, if McCoy was comfortable with this then he clearly knew something Jim didn’t.

“You have a plan then?”

“Who always pulls you out when you get into stupid scrapes, Jim?”

“No comments that you’re too old to be doing this anymore?”

“I was too old when we got dragged off to Rura Penthe so to say it now after all these years would be…illogical.”

Jim chuckled.

“Spock has been a terrible influence on you.”

“I know.”

They got off the couch and turned to the window, watching as the tiny blue dot that was Earth grew larger as the ship travelled closer to the planet.

“You know, Bones, it doesn’t look any different than it did when returned from our missions.”

“I know a lot has changed for you, Jim, but not everything has.”

McCoy leaned over and kissed Jim hard, and pressed their foreheads together when he pulled back.

“We’ll get through this together just like always, Jim.”

Once again they were prevented from moving things any further by a buzz from the intercom that told them to meet with Picard in the shuttlebay.

Jim rolled his eyes.

“I take it back, Bones, this is just like being on duty.”

“So you better follow protocol,” McCoy said while straitening the collar of his shirt.

“Meaning what, Bones?”

“Meaning for god sakes, Jim, be pleasant. If Picard thinks you’re delusional from this he’s going to have you monitored, and if that happens we are never going to be able to leave headquarters let alone get out of Earth’s orbit.”

“All right, Bones, all right you know I can always turn on the charm.”

“Of course, you even got me to fold to those charms long ago.”

***

They met with Picard and his officers, and after Commander Riker unabashedly asked Jim for his autograph they escorted Jim and McCoy off the ship and into Spacedock.

“Thank you for everything, Jean-Luc, and I am sorry about my actions earlier.”

“Apology accepted, Jim, I understand you will need time to adjust to our world. I would like to able to help you, but…”

Jim smiled. “I understand duty always comes first.”

“We will be seeing each other again, Jim. We still have to discuss all this with the Federation council and temporal investigations later.”

“I look forward to it.”

They said their goodbyes and McCoy took Jim off to the nearest turbolift and Jim let his smile drop down into a scowl the moment the doors closed.

“Okay, Bones, I was on my best behaviour, what's the next step?”

“We’re going to a meeting. While you’ve been dogging Picard I’ve been getting in contact with some people who want to see you again.”

McCoy took them to large observation lounge in Spacedock. Jim’s eyes went wide looking at the new fleet. It was so big now, and the ships were huge too. He was distracted as they reached the end of the lounge and he saw that a man was waiting for them. Jim sucked in air as he realized he knew the man standing before them. He had tools stuffed in every pocket, faintly smelled of engine grease, and Jim would recognize that moustache anywhere.

“Scotty!”

Scotty rushed over and hugged Jim tightly.

“Jim!”

When he pulled away Jim frowned as he realized why he had been able to recognize Scotty so easily; like McCoy Scotty hadn’t aged.

“Scotty, how?”

Scotty shrugged. “I was on my way to retire on Norpin V and got stuck in a pattern buffer.”

McCoy smiled. “Who do you think got me out of that infernal transporter?”

Jim sighed. “Everything always happens to us, doesn’t it?”

“And I wouldn’t have it any other way.” McCoy answered him.

Scotty suddenly turned away from them, his lip trembling. Jim frowned.

“Scotty, what is it?” he asked.

“I’m sorry, sir. I’m so sorry.”

“For what Scotty?”

“After all our years together I failed you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“When you disappeared…it was my fault. I should have been the one to go down there, it was my idea.”

Jim put his hand on Scotty’s shoulder in comfort.

“Scotty, all decisions were mine. Nobody forced me to go down there and you can’t blame yourself for something that wasn’t your fault.”

“Going down there cost you everything. You’ve lost all this time.”

“I have time now,” he squeezed McCoy’s shoulder, “And thanks to you I still have the people I love to share it with.”

Scotty nodded and wiped his eyes. “Right, I should take you to see the rest of the crew then.”

“They’re here?”

“Aye, we’ve been working on a small…project.”

Scotty took them to the shuttle area and secured a craft to take them out to the ships. As the shuttle moved through Spacedock Jim looked around for whatever it was that Scotty was working on. He didn’t have to wait long, as the circled around a ship that looked like the Excelsior he spotted her. Jim’s mouth fell open as he looked at the ship.

“That’s…”

“The Enterprise, Jim. I’ve been over-hauling an old Constitution Class vessel.”

Jim looked at Scotty. “You named it just the Enterprise?”

“Aye, I re-christened it,” Scotty said. “It doesn’t need any bloody A B C or D.”

Jim looked at her surrounded by the soft lights of Spacedock. The saucer was the right shape. The nacelles sat out at the proper angle. Even the stripe on the side was the right shade of red. She was beautiful.

When they got aboard Jim spent some time just wandering the halls.

“It looks just like her.” He breathed in deeply. “It feels just like her.”

“Aye. The Enterprise A is in the fleet museum and I go there often to make sure she feels right. The Fleet lets me use this section of Spacedock anytime to work on this beautiful lady.”

“Have regulations changed that much?” Jim asked, as they stepped inside a turbolift and headed for the bridge.

“No, but it wasn’t hard to convince the council to let me use the space. They think of it as a tinkering project for an old man and his friends.” Scotty shook his head. “Bunch of pompous children the lot of them.”

They reached the bridge and the doors opened. McCoy put his arm in front of Jim to hold him back.

“You should stay here, Jim.”

“Why?”

“Because well…I haven’t exactly told them about you yet,” Scotty admitted.

“You haven’t what?” Jim whispered.

“Well it’s not the kind of message you just send on the shuttle over!”

“What message, Scotty?”

The voice of Uhura came from the bridge and Scotty and McCoy rushed out of the lift.

“Well it’s not really a message, Nyota, it’s more of…well I we-we brought a guest!”

“A guest?” Sulu asked. “Who cares about this bucket of bolts?”

“An old friend,” McCoy said.

With that small introduction Jim decided it was time to make his appearance and stepped onto the bridge.

“Why it’s-

“Captain Kirk!”

Jim smiled at them, so grateful to see them all alive and well.

“I’m sorry to spring this on all of you like this, but it’s so wonderful to see you all I-“

Jim was cut off as Chekov shot out of his chair with the speed of a man half his age and hugged Jim hard.

“Chekov!”

“It’s you, Captain, it’s really you! I’m sorry so sorry I…”

Jim put his hands on Chekov’s shoulders and looked at him kindly, while doing his best to fight down the shock of seeing Chekov looking so much older than Jim remembered him to be.

“Chekov, I have already gone through this with Scotty. If you blamed yourself for what happened on the Enterprise B you shouldn’t you-“

“I was doing things a trained monkey could do! Any idiot could have run the sickbay. I should have been there. I could have helped you.”

Jim thought back to Guinan. How their paths had crossed then and now and just had to wonder if something had happened to her then, when she was on the Enterprise B, if any of this would have happened now. Jim had to wonder, if her echo in the Nexus hadn’t told Picard about him if he would have just stayed in the Nexus until the universe itself ended.

Jim smiled reassuringly. “You did, Chekov, I can’t explain how, I'm still not sure I fully understand it myself, but trust me you did.”

Chekov seemed comforted by that and stepped back, letting everyone get a chance for a proper reunion. They slowly settled back into work as Jim wandered around the bridge taking everything in. He stopped where Uhura sat in the chair working on the circuits.

“This is your idea of being retired, Uhura?”

She smiled up at him.

“I need to keep my dexterity up, and it was either this or knitting. And I already have enough cardigans, blankets, and pot holders to open a store.”

Jim nodded and went to stand next to McCoy. He sighed as he stood there just watching his crew, his family.

“You all right, Jim?”

Jim didn’t answer right away. Instead he took McCoy’s hand and squeezed it tightly. After a while he found the words to describe his feelings.

“You know, Bones, there was a time I envied Spock. We were all greying and wrinkled, heading into the twilight years of life, while he still had black hair and at least a century of life to live.”

Even with Scotty and McCoy holding the hands of time steady though a fluke in technology they still had a decade of life on Jim. The reality of the situation, of how Jim was now in Spock’s place, was staring him right in the face. He might outlive everyone in the room.

“I don’t envy him anymore.”

McCoy squeezed Jim’s hand tightly back. “You have to enjoy everything while it lasts, Jim.”

Jim knew he was right. His friends, they were older, slower, but they were still here and Jim would count every blessing.

They stepped apart as Scotty came out from under a panel, wiping his hands and smiling.

“Aye, I think that does it we’re ready for a test run.”

Jim nodded to him. “All right let’s she what’s she’s got.”

Slowly the lights on the consoles lit up and the engines hummed to life.

Jim smiled and his eyes grew bright. “My friends we’ve come home.”

McCoy frowned and ran one hand across the top of the chair of the science station.

“Let’s not forget that there is still one of us left to bring home.”

Jim nodded firmly. “Sulu, are we free to navigate?”

“I may be slower, but I can take her anywhere you want to go. Scotty set up the automation system to practically run itself.”

Scotty, along with the others, turned to Jim and smiled. “We’d be grateful if you gave the word, Captain.”

“But, Scotty, you know the highest ranking officer is to be in command,” Jim said, with a twinkle in his eye as he looked at McCoy.

McCoy smiled and clapped Jim on the shoulder.

“She’s all yours, Jim.”

Jim smiled back and slowly he slid into that centre seat, running his hands down the arms of the chair.

“Take us out.”


	5. (5/15)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock Prime went to save Romulus from a supernova and failed, leaving him in a universe that is similar and still so different from his own. Meanwhile in another part of the galaxy Kirk Prime was freed from the Nexus by Captain Picard and survived. Not believing that Spock Prime is dead Kirk Prime goes in search of him, and travels to the universe created when Nero went through the black hole. In that universe Kirk and Spock are starting on their five year mission, determined to write their own destinies after their encounters with Spock Prime. Unlike them McCoy doesn’t trust destiny as far as he can throw it, and he has his own problems to deal with, like getting custody of the three year old daughter he didn’t know he had.

Que Sera Sera

The Enterprise ran smooth as glass and in no time at all it seemed they put the ship in orbit around Vulcan.

Just as they had back at Spacedock Jim and McCoy traveled down to the planet in a shuttlecraft. McCoy insisted on it and Jim wasn’t about to argue. He knew he would never get McCoy onto a transporter pad again for the rest of his life.

Still the idle downtime was uneventful. They landed swiftly and they quickly moved into the heart of the city. Jim took in how much the city had grown since he had been there, letting McCoy lead the way.  
After a while though Jim became curious as to where McCoy was taking them. McCoy was moving with such purpose that he clearly knew where they were going.

“Bones, it’s not that I don’t trust you with this, but who can we really get to help us here? You told me Sarek died.”

“He has. What I forgot to mention was that his remarriage had more consequences than just leaving Spock and I to wonder what the heck Sarek saw in Perrin, she is the complete opposite of Amanda, Jim, trust me.”

“What were the other consequences?”

“She provided the clan with another heir.”

“You mean…?”

McCoy nodded.

“Spock has a younger brother. He’s the head of the Vulcan Science Academy.”

McCoy explained everything as they made their way through the city. How five years after Sarek took Perrin as his wife she bore him a son. That like Spock the boy had a knack for the sciences, but unlike his older brother he had chosen to pursue those talents on Vulcan.

Still even with all that information when they arrived at the Vulcan Science Academy Jim was honestly expecting another emotional Vulcan with a beard and a stupid plan to be there waiting for them. The man that came out to greet them though looked just as most Vulcans did. His hair was cut short around his ears, though it was blond instead of the usual black. He walked up to them, his back straight and his robes swishing lightly over the sand. He was so calm and collected. His blue eyes were perfect windows to the wise soul within. He reminded Jim so much of Spock.

“Doctor McCoy, it is agreeable to see you again,” he said, as he stopped in from of them and held up one hand.

“It’s been too long, Kid. You should call me more often.”

Saluk rolled his eyes at the nickname that had never lost its use, even though he had left childhood behind long ago. Then he turned his attention to Jim.

“Captain Kirk.”

“Saluk,” Jim said, and held up his hand in a proper salute.

Saluk returned the salute in kind.

“I would like to thank you both for coming. It is gratifying to know that there are others who feel as I do that Spock is not gone.”

Jim’s eye widened in surprise.

“Have you been able to sense him? Are you two still linked?” he asked, knowing that Vulcans formed family links, and that unlike Spock and Sarek Spock and his brother had nurtured that link and allowed it to flourish into a proper bond.

Saluk shook his head. “I cannot sense him, but my brother has also told me to trust my instincts. That logic should be the foundation on which to build other skills. Right now those instincts are telling me that he is not truly gone merely…misplaced.“

Saluk was silent then as he took them into the Science Academy building and down numerous hallways to his office.

“What information have you be given, Saluk?” McCoy asked, when they were all seated.

“Very little, the Vulcan government wishes to keep a low profile on this whole…fiasco for lack of a better term.”

“What exactly has happened?” Jim asked.

“A star in the Hobus system is the one that went supernova. We were aware of the impending nova and of the danger it posed to Romulus. Because of other entanglements the Romulan Empire has recently been in they did not have the resources to combat the situation, if they could even be made to believe the situation existed at all. As you know Spock was there working to reunite our two worlds. Spock informed me that he had promised those sympathetic to the cause of unification that he could save them. We gave him all of our available resources.“

“Spock was here and he went back to Romulus to stop this?” Jim asked.

“Indeed. He was traveling with an experimental substance known as Red Matter. It was designed to contain a large release of energy. He travelled to Romulus on our fastest ship. In fact I was on the team the outfitted Spock’s ship for the journey. If he is lost I must bear some of the blame.”

“But you don’t think he is?” McCoy asked.

“No I do not. And I am certain you two can help me confirm this.”

“Why us?” Jim asked.

“Because you care for him above everything and everyone else. Spock has spoken so highly of you all my life, Captain Kirk. If there is anyone who can bring him back to me, you can.”

“I thank you for having such faith in me.”

“It is not faith. It is a logical placement of trust. In your lifetime you have performed remarkable feats. Indeed you once brought Spock back from the country from whose born no traveller is to return.”

Jim recognized the quote from Shakespeare and Jim wondered if Spock had introduced Saluk to the man’s work.

“Even now your own return after so many decades speaks of this. Defeating the no-win scenario I believe it is called.”

“Saluk, I’m just a man, not a miracle worker.”

McCoy chuckled. “No, we left him back on the ship.”

“Never the less you have proven an uncanny ability to twist situations to your advantage. Facts as they stand are also highly questionable, unless either of you have more information for me.”

Jim shook his head. “No.”

Saluk nodded, pressing several buttons and pulling up an image on the holographic display on the desk.

“As I said Red Matter was designed to contain energy by essentially sucking it in and containing it in an artificial black hole. As you know black holes rip the fabric of space time and this hole was merely meant to bend space and time to replace the gravity of the star.”

The model showed a small red ball expanding and engulfing the nearby star.

“However, this ‘field test’ if you will has not gone as we expected it to based on these types of theoretical models. First and foremost the black hole has not remained as it was meant to.”

Saluk pushed several buttons to show Jim and McCoy a new model.

“Because Romulus has been destroyed it is obvious that the star had already gone nova before Spock activated the Red Matter. This was never accounted for and so the variables have changed.”

“How could the supernova occur before Spock got there?” McCoy asked. “Even in my day we could time the event of a supernova better than this.”

“Wait!’ Jim exclaimed. “When I was talking to Picard in the Nexus he said the man he was fighting, Soran, was destroying a star. Was Soran able to do that anyway despite us being back early enough to stop him?”

“No, Jim, I’ve read the reports and Doctor Soran was arrested in the Amargosa system.”

Jim turned to McCoy in amazement.

“You have been busy, Bones, haven’t you?”

McCoy shrugged. “I have clearance to view those reports, and since you gave up the computer to go around bothering Captain Picard to hell and back I made use of it.”

“Rank has its privileges.” Jim said dryly and turned back to Saluk. “So if it wasn’t Soran, what was it?”

Saluk contemplated the question. “Trilithium is a compound the Romulans had been working with. If something went wrong it could have triggered this catastrophe.”

“But if Spock still stopped the supernova, at least partially, then where is he now?” Jim asked.

“I have sources in the Romulan Empire and they have gotten word to me that no trace of his ship has been found in the area.”

Jim dropped his head and glared at the floor. “Destroyed then.”

“No, close sweeps of the area where Romulus once was have revealed debris, several evacuation ships, mining vessels in a nearby asteroid belt and the like. Since those ships are there my brother’s should be as well. However, it is theoretically possible that he entered the black hole and arrived somewhere else outside our known universe. If the black hole ripped the fabric of space and time instead of bending it could have opened a doorway to another universe. His ship was designed to withstand the forces of the black hole to the best of our knowledge.”

Jim’s eye lit up. “Like it was then we were in Tholian space, a transfer to another dimension. He could have opened a doorway and emerged in another universe. Bones, that means we could go and find him.”

McCoy tried to bring cold reality back to situation. “But, Jim, when that happened to you, you ended up in a place where you were the only living thing there.”

“Yes, and even I managed to survive long enough for the ship to retrieve me. If Spock entered a universe that he could survive in it might not be too late. Bones, we have to try and get him back.”

“You would need a gateway into that dimension,” Saluk reminded him.

Jim smiled. “I know where we can find one.”

Saluk locked eyes with him, he gaze never faltering, and then quirked the side of his mouth up slightly.

“Somehow, I knew you would.”

***

The Enterprise left Vulcan the moment McCoy and Jim were back on board. They arrived at their destination in record time, and after dealing with the angry man running the monitoring station they managed to get down on the planet.

A cold breeze blew through the old ruins as the crew walked among them. Jim kept McCoy close and made sure his medical bag was firmly closed. Cautiously Jim approached the gateway that stood in the centre of the ruins.

“Guardian.”

Jim and his crew jumped as the Guardian glowed brightly and spoke to them.

“You have returned with a question.”

“Yes, one of us that came here last time is missing. Can you show us where he was taken to?”

The entrance of the Guardian shimmered and smoked, and then it cleared to reveal a familiar small blue dot in the blackness of space. It was Earth someone else’s Earth no doubt, but Earth just the same.

“That’s where he is.”

The image changed to show a busy street. McCoy walked up to the portal to get a better look and then checked his bag to make sure he had everything.

“Live or die, Jim, let’s get this over with.”

Jim started to join him, but then he hesitated, suddenly uncertain, and turned around. Up ahead of him new adventures waited, while behind the old guard that he had grown old with and loved dearly stood firm. How could he turn his back on them?

Scotty stepped out in front of the group and squeezed Jim’s shoulder tightly.

“Will bring ya home, Captain.”

Jim nodded in acceptance. “Thank you, Mister Scott.”

“Aye, sir.”

With that Jim joined McCoy in front of the Guardian. Together they stepped through the portal and were gone.

***

Jim and McCoy appeared in the new universe without fanfare or dramatics, instead landing rather awkwardly on soft dirt. After a moment Jim’s vision cleared to reveal well cut grass and smooth faced buildings that looked so…familiar.

“Where are we?” McCoy asked.

“It looks like Starfleet Academy, sort of. Is it from Picard’s time, Bones?”

“No, even in the 24th century it doesn’t look like this.”

They stared as a young man dressed all in red passed by them. Jim looked down at his uniform.

“And we don’t seem to be dressed the part.”

McCoy rolled his eyes. “What was your first clue?”

Jim looked around some more, spotting some clothes hang on the railing of a nearby balcony.

“What do you think, Bones? We’ll steal from the rich and give to the poor…later.”

Jim stared to move towards the balcony, until McCoy grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

“Oh no! You aren’t climbing up anything without Spock here to save your ass.”

“You have a better idea?”

McCoy nodded, he let go of Jim’s arm, and walked up to a pair of young women standing nearby.

“Excuse me, ladies, my friend and I seemed to have gotten ourselves a might turned around. Could you tell me where we would find the student union?”

They pointed to a dome shaped building across the campus.

“Thank you kindly.”

He took Jim’s hand and pulled him towards it.

“We’ll find some clothes at the lost and found,” he said.

“Then we find the library and start studying. We need to find out when exactly we are and how this universe is run before we have a hope of finding Spock.”

McCoy nodded in agreement and they started off to the building. They barely got halfway there before they nearly got run over as a cadet barreled past them.

“Hey watch it!”

The kid never even looked back.

McCoy snorted. “Nice to see that even here kids are still rude to their elders.”

Jim shook his head in exasperation as he watched as the kid rounded a corner and disappeared. “Some things never change.”


	6. (6/15)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock Prime went to save Romulus from a supernova and failed, leaving him in a universe that is similar and still so different from his own. Meanwhile in another part of the galaxy Kirk Prime was freed from the Nexus by Captain Picard and survived. Not believing that Spock Prime is dead Kirk Prime goes in search of him, and travels to the universe created when Nero went through the black hole. In that universe Kirk and Spock are starting on their five year mission, determined to write their own destinies after their encounters with Spock Prime. Unlike them McCoy doesn’t trust destiny as far as he can throw it, and he has his own problems to deal with, like getting custody of the three year old daughter he didn’t know he had.

Que Sera Sera

Kirk ran down to the shuttle-bay as fast as he could, ignoring everyone that got in his way. He got his ticket through a conversation of glaring and grunts. He threw himself into his seat on the proper shuttle and pulled out the crumpled note he had been left.

_Gone to see my parents talk to you later.  
-Bones_

Kirk rolled his eyes. Have a nice life was what it should have read!

Yeah he could see Bones wanting to see his mom and dad. Not every family was a total train wreck like Kirk’s was. But it was nearly three weeks later and there hadn’t been one single call. What the hell was Bones thinking!? What kind a friend was that, Kirk thought as he thought back to that empty chair in the assembly hall just yesterday. They had given him a medal for his actions against Nero, but more important than that they had let him keep that beautiful girl he had watched being built that night in Iowa so long ago. Even though the idea of being captain to a crew of over four hundred inexperienced cadets scared him half to death that was still easily the best moment of his life. Bones was his best friend they were supposed to share these things together. Now Kirk was determined to track Bones down and figure out why that wasn’t happening.

***

After having to ask for directions five different times between the shuttle-port and the bus depot in Atlanta Kirk eventually found the right bus to get him to where Bones was staying.

When the bus dropped him off Kirk couldn’t help his eyes going wide as he took in the size of the place. The grounds seemed to stretch on for miles and the house looked like it had at least four floors.

“Wife took the whole planet my ass,” Kirk muttered, as he walked the length of the porch and banged on the large hand carved door.

Bones answered it and his jaw fell open when he saw who it was.

“Jim, what the hell are you doing here!?”

“That’s what I should be asking you, Bones!”

“I told you I was going to see my parents so I have a great reason for being here, I live here!”

Kirk stepped back in shock. “You mean permanently?! Fuck, Bones, you can’t! I’m already having enough trouble trying to get Spock back on the Enterprise.”

Bones tilted his head to the side in confusion. “Why would you need to worry about any of that?”

Kirk fidgeted with his shirt sleeve, wishing he had his gold shirt with him so he could show Bones the braids.

“They let me keep her, Bones. They had the ceremony just yesterday. You should have been there.”

“They made you captain officially?”

Kirk couldn’t hold back a smile. “Yeah.”

Bones was about to make a comment along the lines of everyone at Starfleet Command having lost their minds, but then his mother came up behind him.

“Leonard, are you going to let that poor boy stand out on our porch in this heat or invite him in?”

Bones sighed and let Kirk into the foyer.

“Jim, this is my mom, Elaine McCoy. Mom, this is my friend Jim Kirk.”

“Hi,” Kirk said, holding out his hand.

“A pleasure to meet you, Jim.”

She took Kirk into kitchen asking him about his trip and his life in general, while Bones glared daggers at Kirk’s back.

David came out of the living room, where he was trying to interest Joanna in playing a board game, and leaned over to whisper in Bones’ ear.

“Do I need to get the shot gun out of the closet?” he asked.

“That might not be a bad idea!” Bones exclaimed as he went back to his room to finish getting ready.

Fifteen minutes later Bones came back down to the kitchen to find Kirk sitting at the counter with a glass of lemonade in his hand and a cocky grin on his face.

“Making yourself right at home aren’t you?”

“You are too aren’t you?“

Bones looked ready to throttle Kirk for that and Kirk held up his hands in surrender and tried to be peaceful.

“Bones, what’s going on? You said you were just going to see your parents not stay with them.”

Bones dropped his gaze to the floor and thought back to Joanna. How she was still crying and wanting her mother as he carried her home from the hospital. How quiet she had been during Jocelyn’s funeral, clinging to his leg; and Bones was pretty sure she only did that because Jocelyn’s parents couldn’t comfort her.

Over the last week or so Joanna had gotten comfortable enough to call him daddy and talk to his parents so that at least was something. Still Bones knew staying here was only a temporary solution. He needed to get out on his own, to take the stress off his dad and let his mom have time with her husband. Now Kirk was here too, and Bones rubbed his forehead trying to fight off a headache. He did not need this right now.

“Plans changed,” he said at last.

“And you couldn’t let me know?”

“No, Jim, dammit! I’ve got more important things to deal with right now.”

“Like what?” Jim asked angrily. “What could be more important than what we just went through? About what we want to do with our lives now?”

“Don’t insult me like that, Jim, or I will make my dad get that gun!”

Kirk backed off. “Okay, Bones, okay I just-well can I at least help out then with whatever it is?”

Bones snorted. “Well if you really want to, Jim, then I hope you brought nice clothes.”

“Why?”

“We’re going to court.”

“Court!?”

***

Wanting to be there for his best friend Kirk went with Bones. That was how he found himself sitting in a small office with a man with his hair slicked back sat on the other side of the desk.

“Mister McCoy, I would like to thank you for coming so promptly.”

Bones just grunted and glared at the man.

“As you know I am a representative on behalf of your late ex-wife in regards to the placement of your daughter.”

Kirk’s squeak of the word daughter was drowned out by Bones’ cursing.

“Cut the bullshit, Ted, you were Jocelyn’s divorcee attorney and you’re her third cousin, so don’t try and paint this as some cold legal case!”

“Mister McCoy, the placement of the child is a sensitive matter.”

“You have my DNA results you know she’s mine, and Jocelyn’s parents have already agreed that don’t want to battle for custody.”

“You are also a Starfleet cadet who would be asked to go on missions that would take you away from Earth for perhaps years at a time. How can you provide a stable environment for her?”

“I can resign my commission and set up a practice here.“

“With no patients? It will take long hours to build up a proper reputation and you are-“

“He can remain in Starfleet and his daughter can join him on missions,” Kirk announced, cutting Ted off.

Ted turned to Kirk.

“I was not aware that your Starfleet had the facilities for that aboard their ships.”

Kirk leaned forward and folded his hands on the desk. “With our recent losses Starfleet wants to make their ranks more open to those who would otherwise be uninterested for exactly the reason you stated uhh…Ted. The Enterprise will be one of the first ships to offer facilities for officers and enlisted personnel with children and McCoy is one of our top choices for assignment there.”

“They want to install a family program?” Bones asked.

Kirk smirked. “This is what you get for missing meetings. The program is already underway. Teachers and daycares will be provided for children of all ages while their parents are on duty and quarters have been designed to accommodate more people.”

Kirk reached into the bag he had with him and pulled out his PADD. He handed it over so Ted could get a look of the program.

Ted scrolled through the proposals carefully and when he was done he seemed to be pleased.

“Well, Mister McCoy, with this program in place and your salary high enough and regular enough to cover expenses your ability to provide for Joanna would be secure. With all that in mind she will be release into your full custody.”

Kirk and Bones left the office after Bones finished signing off the official paperwork.

***

Kirk was smiling as they went back to Bones’ parents place. Expecting praise for helping out Kirk was shocked when they got there and Bones shoved him through the front door and he didn’t hesitate to slam the door behind them.

“We have to talk right now!”

“What the hell is the matter with you, Bones?!”

“You had no right to do that, Jim!”

“Do what? He wanted to know how you would provide for her and I told him! I did it for you!”

“No, this is about your need to get everything you want! You wanted me to be on that ship and did everything you could to back me into corner so I‘d have to accept the deal, well I don’t!”

“She’s your daughter, Bones, she should be with you!”

“She does not belong on a spaceship that sees combat! And she needs people her own age to be with!”

“She wouldn’t be alone, Bones. This program isn’t just for you. I know that at least one person on my ship a Yeoman Rick or Rand-whatever is bringing her six year old daughter.”

“That’s not good enough!” Bones shouted, and stormed off.

Going up to the room he was staying in Bones slammed that door too. He went over to his bed he sat down on to it and glared at the wall. He sat there thinking about all the ways he could tell Starfleet to take their offer to join the Enterprise and shove it, until he heard a knock and David poked his head in.

“Leonard, can I come in?”

Bones shrugged. “It’s your house do whatever you want.”

“Then I want to talk with you.”

David came in and closed the door behind him. He sat down on the bed next to his son.

“Jim let me know that you got final custody.”

Bones nodded. “I did.”

“He also said that you could take Joanna with you when you go back to Starfleet.”

“I’m not going back, Dad.”

“I think that would be a mistake.”

Bones went back to glaring at the wall. “Then it’s mine to make.”

David nodded. “That’s true. I just want to make sure you’re looking at this from all the angles. I think Jim has a point. He certainly didn’t phrase it very well, but it is something to consider when you can build your family life and your working live so well together.”

Bones was aghast, his dad agreed with Kirk? “How can you say that?”

“You’ve worked hard to be where you are in your work, you shouldn’t squander all that.”

“It can’t be all about what I want. I have Joanna to think about well…well you’re my dad don’t tell me you never made sacrifices for me.”

“I did, Len, so did your mother and our parents and the parents of every generation on back, but there’s a difference between making sacrifices and putting your entire life on hold until they turn eighteen.”

“Dad, I can’t take your only granddaughter away for you! Not now-when you…I can’t do that.”

Bones closed his eyes trying to keep his composure and David put his hand on his shoulder.

“I don’t expect everyone to put their lives on hold for me, Leonard, it’s not fair.”

David reached over and moved Bones’ head so he was sure he was looking his son directly in the eyes.

“Leonard, you know at the end I won’t be myself anymore. I’ll say things I don’t mean, they’ll probably be days when I won’t know who anyone is. I don’t want Joanna to see that. She’s suffered enough heartache already. And I don’t want some frail old man to be the last memory you have of me.”

“But I want to be here to…to say goodbye.”

“You are, and this isn’t the dark ages, Leonard, you’ve still got communications on that ship. No reason we can’t send messages, maybe even by close enough to have a full comm link every now and then.”

“Dad, we’ve barely spoken in three years and now you want me to just run off again?”

“No, what I want is for you to be happy. When you were born all your mother and I wanted was to see what you would grow up to be, Leonard. If we cheated ourselves out of some of that by being idiots about you and Jocelyn that was our fault, not yours. Now you go and live your life. I already got mine and I’ve loved it.”

Bones leaned back on the bed.

“I’ll think about it.”

David nodded. “Well I’ve got dinner to get on the table and I’d like you to join us.”

His dad left and Bones sat there thinking everything over. If his parents were really okay with it maybe Kirk had a point after all. Bones sighed. He hated to admit that Kirk might be right. The kid did not need any more ego boosts. Still, he stood up and went back out there.

He came into the living room to find, to his astonishment, Kirk sitting in the middle of a pile of stuffed toys with Joanna.

“Look, Bones, she made me their king!”

Joanna stopped arranging her toys and pouted at Kirk.

“Kings don’t talk ‘less it’s to subjects.”

“Oh…sorry.”

Elaine smiled and stood up from her chair.

“Come on, Joanna, let’s go help grandpa finish dinner.”

“Okay, grandma two!”

Kirk gave Bones a confused look as the two women left the room. Bones shrugged and pulled his friend to his feet.

“Jocelyn’s parents were her grandparents first so my folks are grandma two and grandpa two.”

“Makes sense,” Kirk said, as he helped Bones pick up the stuffed toys.

Bones sighed. “Jim, I’m sorry.”

Bones dropped the toy he was holding as Kirk slapped him softly on the back.

“It’s all right, Bones, I mean first we stop the end of the world and then find out you’ve got a kid! It’s a lot to deal with. And I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to make all of this harder for you. You’re right you dealing with her was more important than that stupid ceremony.”

“Jim, you're my best friend you know I would have been there don’t you?”

Kirk gave him a lopsided smile. “Of course I do.”

“Speaking of kids, when did you get to be so good with them?” Bones asked. Ever since he had brought Joanna home form Jocelyn’s funeral she had been so shy. That she had taken so quickly to Kirk was surprising.

Kirk shrugged. “I had some practice back in Iowa. So what’s for dinner?”

Bones rolled his eyes and took Kirk to the dining room. As they ate Kirk handed Bones his PADD and let him take the time to look over what Starfleet had proposed.

“Well, Bones, what do you think?”

Bones looked at Kirk over the top of the PADD.

“It looks good I’ll give it that.”

“So, is that a yes?”

“No, that’s a maybe.”

It might look good to Bones, but he knew he had one more person to talk to before making any final decisions.

When evening had settled in and Bones had helped Joanna brush her teeth and get into bed he talked to her.

“Joanna, I have something very important I need to talk to you about.”

Joanna sat up straight and Bones sat down beside her.

“I know you’ve had to deal with a lot of changes recently so I want to ask you something.”

“What?”

“You know daddy is a doctor, but I’m a special doctor who helps people on starships.”

“Like that one?” Joanna asked, pointing her drawing of the Enterprise coloured in with purple crayon.

“Yeah, just like that one. They want me to go on one of those ships soon and help people there, and you would come with me.”

“We’d get to live there?” Joanna asked her eyes wide.

“Yeah, but only if you want to.”

Joanna looked at her drawing thinking that living there would be the best thing ever.

“Wow.”

“So it’s okay if we go?”

“Can we go now?”

Bones chuckled. “No, not yet, soon though.”

He kissed Joanna’s forehead and tucked her in. Then got up and went to the door.

“Goodnight, sweetheart, daddy loves you.”

Joanna nodded and shut her eyes.

Bones turned off the light, making sure the nightlight came on, and then closed the door.

“Well?”

Bones jumped and turned to Kirk who was waiting for him and Bones couldn’t even be mad because Kirk was looking at him like a goddamn puppy.

“All right, Jim, it looks like you’ve got yourself a chief medical officer.”

Kirk whooped with joy. “Yes! Thank you, Bones, you won’t regret this I promise!”

Bones sure hoped he wouldn’t.


	7. (7/15)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock Prime went to save Romulus from a supernova and failed, leaving him in a universe that is similar and still so different from his own. Meanwhile in another part of the galaxy Kirk Prime was freed from the Nexus by Captain Picard and survived. Not believing that Spock Prime is dead Kirk Prime goes in search of him, and travels to the universe created when Nero went through the black hole. In that universe Kirk and Spock are starting on their five year mission, determined to write their own destinies after their encounters with Spock Prime. Unlike them McCoy doesn’t trust destiny as far as he can throw it, and he has his own problems to deal with, like getting custody of the three year old daughter he didn’t know he had.

Que Sera Sera

This was it Kirk thought as he smoothed down his uniform shirt one last time before the turbolift doors opened.

Kirk stepped out of the lift and looked around the bridge, his bridge. He straightened his shoulders and went over to the centre chair. He sat down as the crew, his crew, announced that their stations were ready.

Kirk switched on the intercom. “Scotty, how we doing?”

“Dilithium chambers at maximum, Captain.” Came the response over the intercom. Along with a loud shout of, “get down!”

Kirk chuckled.

“Mr. Sulu, prepare to engage thrusters.”

Kirk turned his attention to the turbolift doors as the opened to reveal Spock, his new science officer.

“Permission to come aboard, Captain?”

“Permission granted.”

“As you have yet to select a first officer, respectfully, I would like to submit my candidacy. Should you desire I can provide character references.”

“It would be my honour, Commander.”

Spock proceeded to his station and Kirk went back to his chair. He slapped Bones on the back as he sat down.

“Bones! Buckle up.”

Bones mumbled something about same ship different day as Sulu moved them out beyond Spacedock.

“Take us out.”

As they went to warp Kirk couldn’t help but notice that the ship wasn’t moving as smoothly as it should.

“Sulu?”

“She’s still a bit sluggish, Captain.”

Kirk hit the intercom again.

“Scotty?”

“Aye, sir, I’m working on that.”

Bones rolled his eyes. “We’ll be blown to bits by next Tuesday.”

Spock listened to the banter as he settled into his station. It was remarkable to Spock, but it seemed despite all he, Kirk, and Doctor McCoy had said to one another during the mission with Nero, that he had actually missed this. His counterpart may have had a point after all.

***

After being assured that the ship was indeed being run by children Bone left the bridge, he had unpacking to finish. He picked up Joanna from the small daycare that had been setup on the ship, which he was surprised to see they had half a dozen kids there besides his daughter. After having to tear Joanna away from her new friends he brought her to his new quarters and showed her, her room.

“Not my room,” she announced.

“Yes it is, Jo, it’s all for you.”

“Not like the one at home.”

“No, but were going to make just like home. What colour should we paint the walls?”

“Green!” she exclaimed and pointed to her box of toys. “Mister Spikes and his friends need food to eat.”

Bones smiled. “Green it is.”

As Joanna began setting up her collection of toys Bones went to get his own room in order.

He filled the small dresser with uniforms and a small handful of civilian clothes for the shore leaves he was pretty sure they were never going to get. He put out his old books and the trinkets he’d collected over the years, along with a photo of his parents and the stupid one Kirk insisted on taking of them when they went down to New Orleans for Mardi Gras one year. At the end he put a special picture up on the small ledge close to his bed. It was a picture that he had once tried to forget about, but not now.

“Mama.”

Bones turned to see Joanna in the doorway.

“That’s right,” he said, as he picked Joanna up and sat down on the bed with her so they could both look at it.

The picture was of Jocelyn on their honeymoon. They had gone to California and she was stretched out on the beach laughing at him as he tried to work the camera. It was a happy memory that Bones had done his best to forget in the destruction of his marriage. Now though he was going to cherish that time with Jocelyn and make sure that Joanna always knew how happy Bones had been with her, at least in the beginning.

“Daddy, I miss her.”

Bones ran his fingers through her hair.

“I know, Sweetheart, but you know Mama can never be really gone as long as we remember all the good times we shared with her.”

Jocelyn might not have been a wonderful wife, but she had obviously been an excellent mother, and Bones would never tarnish that image their daughter had of her.

Bones hugged Joanna tightly and couldn’t help but smile as he marvelled at the wonderful little girl that was his. She was adjusting to all of this so well. She seemed to be making friends and trusting him at the very least. He started thinking that maybe all this would all work out all right after all.

***

Spock was beginning to think that joining the Enterprise had been a grave mistake. Oh his work was challenging and meaningful he knew that. He simply was uncertain if those benefits outweighed the negative consequences of his decision. Returning to the fleet had cost him the fragile relationship he and his father had been building since the death of his mother; and it seemed that Spock could not fill the void with other relationships. He had attempted to engage Kirk in what humans deemed proper social activities, learning within their first days back on Earth that Kirk played and enjoyed chess. Due to Kirk’s need to acclimate himself to all of his new duties as captain though their plans to play kept getting postponed.

He had attempted to engage Doctor McCoy in conversation outside of their department conferences as well and had been rebuffed. The doctor’s attitude was one of cool respect to him professionally and nothing more. Still he looked at the world quite differently from Spock and so Spock knew it would take time for them to find common ground. Also he had a young child to consider and that made his time outside of work limited.

Considering his counterpart’s words Spock had been rather discouraged that becoming closer to the two men who were supposed to influence him the most was going so poorly. What concerned him most of all though was that Uhura had not once since they have arrived on-board attempted any such social with him interaction at all. They had already agreed on a more personal relationship before the Enterprise had even left Spacedock under Pike’s authority. She was highly efficient and seemed to balancing her new duties with the ease and grace he had come to expect of her seeing how devoted she was to her studies at the Academy. Spock could see no reason why she wouldn’t spend time with him.

Spock had given her space to come to him on her, but now he was determined to figure out what he had done wrong and how he could fix it. Leaving the science labs to gamma shift Spock searched for her.

He found her in the rec room among a large group of people singing along to a song on the computer.

“Uhura, I wish to speak with you.”

Uhura nodded, excused herself from the table and followed Spock. He took her to his quarters and Uhura kept her eyes focused on the floor as the door slid shut behind them.

“What do you want to speak about, Spock?” Uhura asked cautiously, already sure she could guess the reason.

“You once asked me what I needed, Nyota, do you remember?”

“Of course I do.”

“Then I need you to describe in detail what you believe a romantic relationship entails in human terms.”

“I-I don’t understand, Spock.”

“We agreed to move our relationship to the next level as you put it. We have engaged in human courtship rituals before. Yet now you have not made any effort to approach me outside of a professional circle since we came aboard this vessel. Is this how it is supposed to work?”

Uhura sighed and slowly pulled herself together. She hadn’t wanted to have this talk, but she wasn’t going to run from it any longer, Spock deserved better than this; he deserved the truth.

“No, no it’s not. Look I should have been honest and open with you about all of this before we even started the mission, Spock, but you had lost so much already and I didn’t want to be one more thing on the list. I’m sorry.”

Spock stared at her for moment before his eyes brightened in understanding.

“You wish to discontinue our relationship.”

“Yes,” she said, not able to look him in the eye.

“May I ask why?”

“As cliché as its sounds, Spock, it really has nothing to do with you. It’s just about your position…and mine. Ever since we got back to Earth after defeating Nero it’s been different. All the cameras and reporters everywhere, watching our every move, making comments on anything we say or do, waiting for us to fail so they can write trashy headlines. So many already think that Kirk only got the captain’s chair because of who his father was; that they want some young face to fill recruitment posters. That he hasn’t really earned it…maybe they’re right in some ways. Anyways my real point is that you were right too, Spock, us continuing this, it does look like favoritism. And I don’t want anyone thinking that I got where I am in my career by being anything less than outstanding at my job.”

“Why take the assignment on the Enterprise if you believe Kirk does not have the ability command it?”

“Because we achieved something incredible together when we defeated Nero, Spock. Sure I think Kirk has a lot of growing up to do, but he’s also gifted and smart as hell. I mean you and Kirk were amazing when you stopped yelling at each other and worked as a team. We all can be something great together out here I can feel it, and I want to pursue that to the best of my ability.”

“That is all…logical.”

She came over and hugged him tightly.

“Happiness at least, Spock,” she said, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.

With those words she turned and left his quarters.

Spock watched her go and then moved over to his meditation area. He sunk down on the mat, seeking control and closure. He had begun his relationship with Uhura to try and determine if he could integrate such human things into his life. He was only aware of Vulcan rituals and with no one desiring to offer to bond their offspring to a half-breed boy when he was seven Spock knew that a Vulcan companion would not be possible. He knew now that a human mate would not be a logical choice either. They treated relationships differently he knew now, too different. They looked at relationships as things to be dropped for any reason, even though he knew Uhura’s reasons were logical it still hurt. No good came from engaging in such relations Spock concluded, not even friendship. He would not do so again. His counterpart was wrong. There was no human influence that could be beneficial to him. So Spock vowed that he would focus on the work to be accomplished on the Enterprise, nothing more.

***

Admiral Pike had dealt with a lot over the last few weeks, after his life had taken a sharp turn thanks to Nero and his integration tactics’ including angry diplomats, tearful families, and useless staff. But the two men in front of him were quickly proving to be the most tiring situation yet.

“Admiral Pike, please understand we have travelled so far to learn about the fate of our friend and-“

Jim cut McCoy off and finished his speech angrily. “We want to find him, and have gone through every communication channel Starfleet told us to, why is that so difficult for anyone to help us?!”

“Gentlemen, we’ve got a Vulcan ambassador on route now. If you will just be patient a little longer he will be able to get you in contact with the colony and help to search through their records.”

As if on cue the doors whooshed open and the ambassador come in. He pulled down his hood and Jim and McCoy couldn’t help but gasp in shock when they saw who it was. Just like that their search was over.

“I apologize for my delay I-“

Spock stopped short as he saw Jim and McCoy at the end of the table. His eyes went wide and he leaned against the table to steady himself. After several long moments he collected himself enough to speak.

“Admiral Pike, please remove everyone but yourself and these men from the room.”

Pike’s secretary looked scandalized.

“But, Ambassador, we-“

“Now!”

Startled by his tone her and the others quickly gathered their things and scurried out of the room. Pike turned his head to the ambassador, his eyes wide.

“Ambassador Selek, what was that all about?”

Spock straightened up and folded his hands behind his back.

“Admiral Pike, you have had contact with a person from a temporal rift. You can be aware of this; also I would like an objective person here as a witness, so that I know I am still in control of my mental faculties.”

Jim looked at Spock from across the table and held his hands out.

“I know it’s a terrible shock to you, Spock, but we’re here, we’re real.”

Pike looked between the three of them and cleared his throat.

“Okay let’s start this all over. Since you two just revealed that you know him, the real him, I want your real names. Also since you two both know how to stand at attention, yes I did notice thank you very much, I want ranks too.”

Jim and McCoy locked eyes with Pike and gave their responses in the level tones of those with years of experience in the service.

“McCoy, Leonard H. Rank: Admiral.”

“Kirk, James T. Rank: Captain.”

Pike blinked slowly, then groaned and buried his face in his hands.

“Dammit to hell.”


	8. (8/15)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock Prime went to save Romulus from a supernova and failed, leaving him in a universe that is similar and still so different from his own. Meanwhile in another part of the galaxy Kirk Prime was freed from the Nexus by Captain Picard and survived. Not believing that Spock Prime is dead Kirk Prime goes in search of him, and travels to the universe created when Nero went through the black hole. In that universe Kirk and Spock are starting on their five year mission, determined to write their own destinies after their encounters with Spock Prime. Unlike them McCoy doesn’t trust destiny as far as he can throw it, and he has his own problems to deal with, like getting custody of the three year old daughter he didn’t know he had.

Que Sera Sera

Pike folded his hands on the table.

“All right let me make sure I’ve got all this right. You two, after being pulled from some temporal Nexus, and saved from a transporter accident respectfully, have travelled here through a dimensional gateway that you won’t give me the coordinates of just to get him?”

“Yes, sir.”

Pike rubbed his temple, trying to fight off a headache. “Why do I get the feeling I’m going to be hearing all kinds of stories like this from my Enterprise?”

“Because you will,” McCoy muttered.

“Admiral Pike, you must believe us. We haven’t come here out of malice. We have been honest with you during this meeting, we only want him back,” Jim said.

Pike sighed “Well since you came here with nothing but the clothes on your backs and you’ve released all this information freely, and the Ambassador has verified what you’ve said, I don’t have any reason to keep you.”

He turned to Spock.

“They’re all yours, Ambassador, if you trust them.”

Spock nodded.

“I trust them with all that I am. Thank you for your consideration, Admiral Pike, if you need further communication with them or myself you may contact me.”

They left the room and Spock took Jim and McCoy swiftly and silently to the hotel where he was staying. No one dared to say a word until they reached the room and the door slid closed behind them; and then at last duty was no more.

Spock turned to his mates, his eyes shining, and embraced them fiercely.

“Jim, Leonard,” he whispered, his voice husky with emotion.

“Spock, you can’t know how much we’ve missed you,” McCoy said, his voice muffled in Spock’s neck.

“Come on you two let’s all sit down. It’s been a long day.”

Keeping themselves pressed tightly together they made their way awkwardly to the bed in the corner of the room. Jim staring at Spock while McCoy clung to Spock from behind, his arms firmly encircled around Spock’s chest.

Jim now took the time to inspect Spock closely, running his fingers through hair that had finally lost its midnight black shading, tracing the new lines on Spock’s face.

“Do I look so terribly old, Jim?”

“No, no I just…just let me look at you.”

Jim smiled at his old Vulcan friend, he was still so handsome. Cupping Spock’s chin Jim leaned in and kissed him softly, tasting salt from the tears running down their faces. “I love you,” he murmured.

“I love you too,” Spock whispered, “both of you.”

All three of them were tired and through years of dealing with Starfleet issued bunks they got themselves under the covers of the small bed and curled their arms and legs around each other comfortably.

“I can’t believe we still all remember how to do this,” Jim mused.

“And I see our time apart has not improved your taste in fashion, Doctor McCoy,” Spock said, referring to the brown fuzzy sweater and bright green pants McCoy had managed to cobble together from the lost and found clothing bin.

McCoy glared at Spock and sat up.

“Why you ungrateful green blooded calculator! We go through hell and back to find you and you have the nerve to-“

The rest of McCoy’s rant was drowned out by Jim’s laughter. He yanked the other two men back down on the bed, kissing every each inch of their skin he could reach. The joy he felt was almost overwhelming, they were truly one again at long last.

***

All that joy at being together again was undone the next morning at breakfast when Spock announced that he was not leaving to return to their rightful universe.

“Spock, you can’t be serious.”

“I have never been more serious, Jim, I am needed here.”

“But you heard us we’ve come to take you home. We went through all of this for you.”

“And I am grateful, Jim, please never doubt that, but you both heard me. Nero caused all of this because of me. I must fix what I can,” Spock said, getting up from the table and turning to stare out the hotel room window.

McCoy attempted to find some kind of compromise. “Spock does have a point, Jim. We’ve studied this universe we know what happened here, and now we know for sure that it was a man from own time that caused it. We can’t just ignore that. If we do, how would it be any different from standing by and dong nothing when men like Captain Tracey twisted helpless civilizations from their natural development for their own selfish gains?”

“But, Bones, we can’t fix this on our own, not even you can, Spock. The disturbance caused by Nero happened decades ago. The changes caused by that event would be infinite by now.”

“Yes, but the destruction of my home world by Nero happened not even six months ago. I cannot turn my back on the Vulcan race. I have a duty.”

Jim scowled, thinking back to Picard’s words in the Nexus. ‘You’re a Starfleet officer you have a duty.’ It seemed Jim wasn’t the only one still obsessed with it.

Before Jim could totally lose his temper McCoy cut in again. “All right let me make a suggestion then. We know time isn’t the same between this universe and our own. The last time we went through the Guardian weeks went by for you two while only moments passed in our own universe. What if we give this a few months, a year at the most? We’ll go to the colony with you, Spock, and do what we can. If no one feels differently at the end of that time then we’ll leave, Spock, and you can stay.”

Jim glared, but eventually nodded.

Spock turned to face his lovers fully.

“Agreed.”

So they prepared to go to the Vulcan to give their aid, never knowing that out in the stars above them they’re counterparts were headed to a colony themselves.

***

Kirk stood at the head of the table in the briefing room, his features tense and his eyes bright with emotion.

“We will arrive in three hours. Spock, has your team been able to make any progress?”

“Yes, Captain. Using the information obtained from the remains of the other colonies retrieved by the USS Defiant we have determined that Berthold rays are a type of radiation that causes living tissue to degenerate when exposed to them.”

“Can a landing party be beamed safely to the surface?”

“Yes, the tissue damage is not immediate. A party can retrieve whatever remains there without damage within a limited time frame.”

“Okay, Lieutenant Commander Giotto, assembly a team. We will go down once we reach standard orbit…and we will search for survivors.”

As the meeting adjourned Bones came over, placing a comforting hand on Kirk’s shoulder. Spock stood next to him, his hands clasped behind his back.

“Sometimes we have to do things that aren’t pleasant, Jim.”

“I know, Bones, but we’re supposed to be out here to keep things safe. Not pick up bodies because people rushed our here in the name of border security.”

“Berthold rays are a very recent scientific discovery, Captain. The colonists would have had no way of knowing of them, nor their effects.”

“That’s why they should have sent one our ships out here first so they would know!”

“Try not to take it so hard, like Spock said the effect isn’t immediate, Jim. There’s a good chance we can get them in time,” Bones said.

“How good of a chance?”

“A 25.46% for men and women of middle age. 12.45% chance of survival in those above the age of 80, again regardless of gender. Our latest reports indicate an 88.89% chance of lifetime complications in those who have survived and receive treatment,” Spock answered efficiently.

“What about for children?”

“Absolutely none.”

Well that was it then.

“Bones, make sure sickbay is ready to take on casualties. Spock, have your team double check all the findings and confirm the safety window. I don’t want any of the landing party affected.”

“Aye, sir.”

With that Spock and Bones left the room.

They went down the hallway to the turbolift and Bones waited until the doors of the lift slid shut before he ripped into the Vulcan.

“Excuse me, Commander, but just what the hell was that in there?!”

“I do not know what you are referring to, Doctor, I-“

“You retailed off those percentages like everyone in that colony are nothing but statistics! Those are real people we’re dealing with!”

“I am aware of that, Doctor, but the Captain only wished to know the odds of their survival, I provided them.”

“You said it like we’re going to find nothing down there but death and disease!”

“That is what is most probable, Doctor. Now if you will excuse me I must confirm my findings and make sure the away team is prepared for what we will encounter.”

Spock got off at the appropriate floor and the words “green-blooded bastard,” drifted after him as the lift doors slid shut.

***

The Enterprise arrived at Omicron Ceti III and the landing party beamed down. For a moment there was silence as they all took in the sight of nothing.

“There was supposed to be a settlement just over this ridge, sir,” Sulu said.

Kirk nodded and led the group over the hill. As they reached the top Kirk stopped short as he saw a man, a healthy looking man, walking over to them.

“Hello my name is Elias Sandoval. You must be a rescue team. I am sorry to trouble you, but our communications are down and we could not let anyone know that we didn’t need any assistance.”

Kirk just remained dumbstruck before remembering his manners and finally offering out his hand.

“I’m sorry, Mister Sandoval, but we weren’t expecting anyone to greet us I’m Captain Kirk.”

“Please to meet you, if you all would follow me I will show you our colony.”

Sandoval took the lead as he moved the group towards a small collection a buildings, a barn and some small modest cabins.

“Excuse me, Mister Sandoval,” Bones said, “but has anyone experienced any illness on the colony? We have received reports from colonies on the nearby planets that environmental radiation has caused terrible problems.”

“No, we are all fit as can be here.”

Bones frowned. “Well, I still would like to test everyone.”

“Of course if you will excuse me for a moment I will make sure there is space for to do so.”

Kirk nodded and Sandoval walked over and into the nearest cabin. With him gone Kirk, Bones, Spock, and the rest of the landing party took in the sight of two people lounging under a tree in the shade, a group of men drinking around a table, and a group of children playing hacky-sack nearby. It was amazing.

“Well this is just an educational guess, purely speculation, but in my opinion I’d say those people are alive,” Bones said, smiling and bouncing on his heels in delight. “I guess logical science isn’t so precise after all, right, Spock?”

“Science changes as new evidence becomes available. As a medical man you know this, Doctor; it is its nature.”

Spock looked over at the children and the strong stride Sandoval had in his step as he returned to them.

“However, this evidence is quite…extraordinary.”

“Could the reports have been wrong?” Kirk asked.

“Negative, Captain, my tricorder is recording Berthold rays as we speak. The forty-eight hour safety window is still in effect.”

Sandoval was still smiling at them though looking perfectly fine, and so thoroughly confused the group went inside the cabin.

“You may set up in here, Doctor McCoy.”

“Thank you.”

“Father, do our guests need anything?”

Kirk looked up at the young blonde woman who had just come in the room.

“No, we don’t, but thank you, Miss…”

“My apologies, Captain Kirk, I have forgotten my manners. May I introduce my daughter, Leila Kalomi.”

“Hello, I’m Captain Kirk this is Doctor McCoy and my first officer-“

“Spock.”

Kirk’s eyes went wide. As if the day hadn’t had enough shocks already Spock knew this girl?

She smiled brightly at the Vulcan “It has been a long time,” she said.

“Three years, seven months, and twelve days to be precise,” Spock replied.

A faint blush of red came to her cheeks. “You remember.”

Kirk looked at Spock and Spock found it necessary to explain the nature of their relationship before someone got the wrong idea. Leila was clearly still…pining.

“She was a member of a botanical company on an internship, Captain. As a cadet my class went there as part of an assignment.”

Bones fought the urge to roll his eyes. “Well as…fascinating as that all is, Mister Spock, I’d like to begin checking over all the colonists.”

“While he does that I can show you our crops, Spock.”

Spock nodded stiffly and followed Leila outside.

She took him to the small field next to the barn and Spock ran his tricorder over the crops.

“There is nothing,” he announced. “Not even insects. Yet your plants grow and you have not suffered from the Berthold rays.”

“That can be explained.”

“Please do.”

She led Spock to the edge of the field where strange flowers were growing near one of the fence posts. As Spock bent down to study them closely one of the flowers suddenly shot large sized spores into the air. Spock inhaled some of them and crumbled to the ground groaning in pain.

Leila dropped to her knees beside him. “I-I don’t understand it never hurt us.”

“I am not like you.”

Then just as suddenly as the pain started it stopped as if everything was simply washed away and replaced by a feeling of euphoria.

“Leila, I-I love you. I can love you.”


	9. (9/15)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock Prime went to save Romulus from a supernova and failed, leaving him in a universe that is similar and still so different from his own. Meanwhile in another part of the galaxy Kirk Prime was freed from the Nexus by Captain Picard and survived. Not believing that Spock Prime is dead Kirk Prime goes in search of him, and travels to the universe created when Nero went through the black hole. In that universe Kirk and Spock are starting on their five year mission, determined to write their own destinies after their encounters with Spock Prime. Unlike them McCoy doesn’t trust destiny as far as he can throw it, and he has his own problems to deal with, like getting custody of the three year old daughter he didn’t know he had.

Que Sera Sera

“I’m telling you, Jim, nothing about this adds up. These people aren’t just healthy they’re perfectly healthy, no scars, no tissue damage, no nothing. Hell it’s on record that Sandoval had his appendix removed, and my scanner just showed him with an intact healthy one right where it should be!”

“We’ve got even more problems, Bones, no one from this colony wants to leave, and Spock was right the planet is still being hit by the rays. We don’t know if the protection they have is permanent.”

“Yeah, and whatever protection they have doesn’t apply to us. We have to get everybody off this planet before the safety window is over, and where the hell is Spock anyway?”

Bones was right he should have been back by now. It shouldn’t have taken this long to look at a couple of fields of vegetables. Kirk flipped his communicator open.

“Kirk to Spock.”

There was no answer.

Kirk checked over the machine. Finding nothing wrong with it he tried again.

“Kirk to Spock, please come in…Spock?”

After several long moments Spock’s voice came over the communicator.

“Yes, Captain, what did you want?”

“Spock, where are you?”

“I don’t believe I want to tell you.”

“Well…well whatever just report back to me.”

“No,” was the answer Kirk got and the communicator fell silent again.

“Spock!” Kirk yelled into it to no avail.

Kirk stared at the communicator in confusion.

“Bones, what just happened?”

Bones looked just as stunned as Kirk. “I think the by the book hobgoblin just told us to go to hell.”

“Well we can now add one more thing to the weirdness metre. And you know, Bones, I thought you would be happy about this.”

“Happy about what? That Spock has apparently gone off the deep end?”

“Yeah, I thought you said you might like Spock again if he got that stick out of his ass.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“No?”

“No, I said I’d like him better if he got that entire fence out of his ass! And this isn’t what I meant.”

“Oh, my mistake, Bones.” Then Kirk sighed. “So, do you have any suggestions?”

“I suggest we find him before someone else in the landing party does.”

Though he wasn’t answering it Spock had left his communicator open. So Kirk and Bones were able to track his signal and found him by the lake swinging in a tree.

Kirk gapped at Spock. “What the…?”

Bones really wished he had brought a camera.

As they went over to Spock Kirk start feeling a sense of unease curling in his stomach. It was as though he had walked this path before. Recognizing it as that sinking feeling he got whenever he remembered something from a life that hadn’t been his, damn mind meld, Kirk stopped walking and pulled Bones back away from the large flowers they were just about to pass.

“Bones, wait it’s the flowers.”

“How do you know that?”

Kirk didn’t answer. How could explain it and not look insane? Luckily he didn’t have to. DeSalle walked by them just then and suddenly set off the flowers.

“Look!”

Bones quickly scanned him and compared the results to DeSalle’s last physical.

“You’re right, Jim, this is the cause. The spores from these flowers are causing his cells to regenerate at an impossible rate. Any effect of the rays would be neutralized once they came in contact with these spores. That’s why the colonists aren’t affected.”

“So what about the whole…happy thing?” Kirk asked, as he gestured to Spock, who had left the tree and was currently sitting in Leila’s lap admiring the clouds.

“The spores seem to attach themselves to the nervous system, lowering chemicals levels in the brain, and causing a sense of euphoria.”

“So if it creates a low chemical level would a high level of say…emotion snap them out of it?”

“It’s possible, but how would we do that?”

“I know one way,” Kirk said, stepping forward with determination.

Bones caught his arm. “Oh no, Jim, I’m not treating you again because Spock nearly broke your neck and back the last time.”

Kirk stepped back and rubbed his neck at the memory.

“Yeah, you’re right I don’t want to go through that again either. Can anything in your bag of tricks help?”

“Maybe, but I can’t just start randomly using stimulants on Spock. I could do more harm than good.”

“If we could get him alone could you try a small dose?”

“If we can monitor him sure.”

Before Kirk could think of anything he noticed Leila and Spock getting up and moving away, and he threw himself into action.

“Spock, wait!”

Kirk ran up to them shoving himself into between Spock and Leila, and deliberately knocking Spock’s arm off Leila’s shoulder.

“Where are you two going?”

Leila looked at him suspiciously. “We wished to be alone.”

“Oh, but you can’t Spock has to report his findings first.”

Spock seemed to bristle in agitation. Bingo, Kirk thought.

“Captain, I believe I already made it clear that-“

“I know, Spock, but I don’t make the rules you know the regulations.”

Spock’s hand twitched, but he moved away from Leila.

“I will be back shortly,” he said, and followed Bones and Kirk into the small wooded area next to the lake.

“Now, Captain, if would kindly get to the point!”

With Spock now thoroughly agitated Bones checked the level of stimulant and then shoved  
the small dose in the hyospray into Spock’s neck.

Spock stiffened and then seemed to come back to himself.

“Doctor, Captain, what is going on?”

“Nothing but a mid-summer’s dream, Spock.”

“Captain, I hardly think this is the time to be quoting Shakespeare.”

“Sorry. The spores from the flowers all around here affected you Spock and now we’re glad you’re back to focusing on the mission.”

“Yes, I remember. It was as if nothing mattered but simple contentment no needs, no desires.”

“It’s like having a day off, Spock, something I’m sure you’re completely unfamiliar with.”

“Doctor McCoy, I hardly think this is the time to insult me.”

Bones rolled his eyes. “Well, you’re clearly back to normal. So that’s one down and only what, two hundred to go?”

“243 to be precise.”

“Thanks for that, you green-blooded computer.”

“Bones, knock it off and start trying to figure out a way to fix this.”

“Well, I can’t stab everyone with hypos all day we don’t have enough time for that or enough supplies.”

“And we agreed that anger wouldn’t be the best high emotion to get to break the effect of the spores.”

“That is true, Captain, and starting a brawl between the colonists and the crew will not reflect well on us in our mission reports. However, if we still have access to the ship I could set up a subatomic transmitter. That may create the environment necessary to counteract the effects of the spores.”

“All right you two go back to the ship I’ll try and round up the crew and keep them away from the flowers. Maybe we can even get some supplies together to make the beam out from this planet faster,” Bones said. He was going to make sure not one single spore got on the Enterprise. He wasn’t letting his daughter anywhere near the stuff.

As they talked Sulu went by with a dazed out look on his face.

“Good luck, Bones, it looks like you’ve got your work cut out for you.”

***

Kirk and Spock went back up to the ship and got to work. It didn’t take long and they were nearly finished when Kirk’s communicator beeped.

“Kirk here.”

Leila’s voice came through. “I want to talk to Spock.”

Spock looked down at his belt and realized he had left his communicator with Leila.

Kirk handed over his communicator.

“It’s okay, Spock, you talk to her I’ll finish up.”

“Thank you, Captain.”

Spock stepped into the next room in the lab which thankfully was empty.

“Leila.”

“You said you would be back soon.”

“Yes, but I had to return to the ship. There were…some-something’s to do before coming back to the colony.”

“I miss you. I could help you, Spock.”

Spock sighed.

“I will beam you up momentarily.”

Spock went to the transporter room and Leila arrived on the pad. Spock dismissed the transporter chief so they could be alone.

Leila came over and hugged him, but Spock remained stiff and unresponsive.

“Spock?”

“I am sorry, Leila, but we must work to keep you and ourselves safe.”

Leila looked at him, tears filling her eyes.

“You aren’t one of us anymore.”

“No.”

“You could be again.”

Spock backed away from her.

“I can’t. Leila, I have a duty to this ship, to the man I serve on the bridge.”

“I still love you, you know. I think I always will.”

“You are a bright young woman, Leila, you deserve better than me.”

There was a whoosh as the door opened and Kirk cleared his throat as he came in.

“Spock.”

“Yes, Captain.”

“We’re ready to test the transmitter.”

“Yes, of course.”

Spock left for the bridge with Kirk to test out their plan. The pulse from the hastily built machine bathed the planet and the bridge crew waited with baited breath.

“Did it work?” Kirk asked.

Before Spock could answer Uhura said that they had an incoming message.

“McCoy to Enterprise.”

“Go ahead.”

“Captain, I’ve got Mister Sandoval here and he and the colonists are ready to beam up whenever you’re ready.”

“Thanks, Doctor, Kirk out.”

Kirk smiled and turned to his first officer, they had done it together.

“Well I think we can file this away as our first successful planet side mission right Spock?”

“Indeed.”

They went to the transporter room to help get everyone and every supply from the colony on-board, and on the way Kirk tried to talk to Spock.

“Spock I heard you talking to Leila. You know you don’t have to stay on the Enterprise for duty.”

“That is not why I stay, Jim,” Spock replied cryptically and Kirk let the matter drop.

It may be all that Spock wanted to focus on, but he would not be foolish enough to ignore the fact that the building camaraderie with the people on the Enterprise was valuable to him. He had been on space missions before and knew that what they were doing here, working as a team would be invaluable in the coming years. Also the ease with which he and Kirk were able to form a command team was like nothing Spock had encountered before, but if Kirk doubted his loyalty he would have to do something to reinforce it.

“Perhaps I could interest you in a game of chess this evening, Jim?”

“I’d like that.”

***

As the Enterprise left Omicron Ceti III Sandoval went to Kirk to express his gratefulness.

“I would like to thank you for all you and your crew have done, Captain Kirk. You helped us even when we thought we didn’t want it. We wanted to establish something great there and instead we did nothing.”

“So you can do something now, just not with a bunch of spore throwing flowers hanging around.”

Sandoval thank him and again and went to where the other colonists were staying, while  
Kirk went to the bridge.

“How are they doing, Jim?” Bones asked as Kirk sat down in the captain’s chair.

“They actually want to do things now, Bones, and I think that’s great. They’ll keep moving forward, we all will.”

Kirk turned his chair to the science station.

“Spock, you haven’t said much about all this.”

“There is not much to say, Captain…except that for the first time in my life I was happy.”

Spock turned back to his scans, ignoring Uhura’s glare.

It was an illuminating experience to be sure. To feel so freely for the first time, to know true contentment, it had been fascinating. But it had also been induced in a state of essentially intoxication. It was not unlike what many of his shipmates did when they drank alcohol. It was used to get away from reality. Thus Spock knew it was not something to be achieved in the universe as it truly was. It was not real.

Happiness was a lie.


	10. (10/15)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock Prime went to save Romulus from a supernova and failed, leaving him in a universe that is similar and still so different from his own. Meanwhile in another part of the galaxy Kirk Prime was freed from the Nexus by Captain Picard and survived. Not believing that Spock Prime is dead Kirk Prime goes in search of him, and travels to the universe created when Nero went through the black hole. In that universe Kirk and Spock are starting on their five year mission, determined to write their own destinies after their encounters with Spock Prime. Unlike them McCoy doesn’t trust destiny as far as he can throw it, and he has his own problems to deal with, like getting custody of the three year old daughter he didn’t know he had.

Que Sera Sera

The mission to Omicron Ceti III, despite the embarrassing hiccups with the spores for many in the landing party, was a success. A rousing success in fact, no one could deny it. All the colonists had been rescued alive and well. The landing party had suffered no lasting effects from the spores or the Berthold rays. Also once one of the plants had been safely secured and put in one of the Enterprise science labs to be, very carefully, studied it could be used to provide more information on Berthold rays. Between that and their defeat of Nero it was easy to see how the crew would get cocky, that they would be over-confident and try to do too much at once.

All of those thoughts were swirling through Kirk’s head as he stared out the viewscreen to the collection of planets in front of them.

“Uhura, anything?”

“Nothing, Captain.”

There next mission was a run of medical supplies to Marcus III. On the way they passed a quaserlike system and Kirk just knew they could do it all. That they could fill their standing orders for exploration and still get to rendezvous point in plenty of time. So a team had been sent out to investigate the system.

The Enterprise had lost contact with the shuttle almost immediately. Now they were running the risk of being late to the rendezvous point and leaving seven crewmembers behind, likely to die. And worst of all Kirk had sent Bones and Spock on that shuttle hoping they could work through some of their lingering hostility. Now he might lose the two men that meant more to him than anything in the galaxy.

***

“All right that’s it,” Boma grunted as he tossed the last chair out of the shuttle. “It won’t be a comfortable ride home, but we’ll make it.”

Scotty sighed. “Well we would have, lads, but now even that’s not going to be enough.”

“Why not!?” Boma yelled. “We got all the weight off without leaving people here to die!”

“The fuel line was damaged when the aliens attacked us. I cannot guarantee that we can maintain an orbit with what’s left, and we cannot even take off with all of us onboard. We either need to get more fuel or have someone stay behind.”

Bones turned to Spock. The Vulcan logically thought he was better than everyone else, because he saw people as numbers and data, let him try and puzzle his way out of this. Let him tell them which one he thought wasn’t worthy enough to be saved.

“Well you said you would make the decision as the commanding officer, Spock, so command,” he growled out.

Spock nodded calmly.

“Ensign Boma, make sure Latimer and Gaetano are secured to the floor of the shuttle as best you can. With the extra floor space we must try to keep them flat for the take-off of the shuttle to prevent further injuries. Mister Scott, how long can you stay up if the required weight is lost?”

“If the orbit is high enough, indefinitely, but considering the shape of the shuttlecraft, Mister Spock, I give us an hour at best.”

“Thank you, Mister Scott. You will be in charge of making sure that orbit is achieved and making contact with the Enterprise.”

“Me, Commander?”

“Yes, I am officially turning command of this mission over to you. I will stay behind.”

“What!?” the others cried.

Spock stepped back onto the ramp of the shuttlecraft.

“My muscle density accounts for more weight than a human's. You will have a better chance to achieve an orbit without me. Also my increased strength from those same muscles gives me an advantage should I have another encounter with this planet’s inhabitants.”

Bones looked stricken and moved towards Spock. “You can’t, Spock, this mission needs a commanding officer, I’ll stay.”

“Doctor McCoy, our party has injuries and your skills will be needed on the ship. You also have your family to consider and I do not.”

There was an animal screech from close by.

“If you do not leave now there will not be another chance, this is no time for further discussion.”

Swiftly Spock pushed Bones back into the shuttle. Then he grabbed the edge of the ramp, and pushed it up and closed.

“Spock, no!”

Bones ran over to the front window of the shuttled and continued trying to call him back, but Spock ran over the nearest rock face, a spear in his hand, and was gone.

***

With no other choice the landing party got the shuttle up and into orbit, but Scotty turned out to be right. They couldn’t maintain a high enough orbit and they couldn’t get any contact with the ship. Scotty gritted his teeth and did what was necessary. Spock had trusted him to take care of the team.

He reached out and hit the button to jettison the last of their fuel.

“Scotty, what are you doing?!” Bones cried out in alarm.

“Giving the ship a signal. Spock didn’t give up his life for us to fail!”

Back on the Enterprise, that was moving away from the planet at the slowest possible speed, a bright green flare suddenly appeared on the viewscreen.

“Sulu, turn this ship around we’re getting them!” Kirk commanded.

“Aye, Captain!”

“Chekov, magnify the image.”

He did and those on the bridge could finally get a clear view of the shuttlecraft.

“Uhura, tell the transporter room to lock on to the shuttle and beam everyone back here the moment we’re in range!”

Kirk watched as the minutes ticked by and the shuttle slowly lost its orbit and broke apart in the atmosphere.

“Uhura, did we get them?”

“Captain, the transporter room reports six people on the pad. They’re alive.”

Alive, but someone was missing, who?

“Sulu you have the conn. Get us to the rendezvous point, full speed.”

Kirk ran down to the transporter room to find that the away team was already in sickbay. When he got to sickbay he found Bones treating Latimer and Gaetano while Nurse Chapel looked over Scotty and Boma.

But Kirk didn’t see Spock anywhere.

“Where is Spock!?”

Bones looked at him gravely. “He stayed behind, Jim.”

“He what?!”

“It was the only way, Captain, the shuttlecraft would never have been light enough otherwise to get us in orbit,” Scotty said.

Kirk bolted from the room and Bones found him an hour later sitting on the floor in his office, hiding from the world.

“Jim?” Bones asked in concern as he knelt down next to him.

“I as good as killed him, Bones.”

“No, Jim, you gave us a mission and we went on it. Spock was in command and he made his decisions based on his own judgement.”

“I’m the captain. Everything the crew does is my responsibility. I should have just gotten us to the meeting spot and said screw the whole standing order bullshit! This is my fault.”

“Jim, I know it hurts, but you can’t punish yourself like this or you won’t stand the pressure of command. We can, and will, lose people on this five year mission no matter how well prepared we are. It happened with Oslen on your very first away mission for god sakes.”

“I know, Bones, but that was him being over-confident, not because of a hostile alien we knew nothing about or some random ray or plant; and I wasn’t the one who ordered him down there.”

How could he expect Bones to understand? Kirk already knew things of a world that wasn’t his. He had had nightmares of Spock leaning against the glass of an engine room, his skin burnt from radiation, the life draining out of him. To have that happen in his reality, that it might have already happened, wasn’t something Kirk was sure he could face. If he could face endless days looking at the chess set in his quarters, knowing Spock would never touch those pieces again. Never go down to the labs to bug Spock while he performed some experiment. Never again hear Spock and Bones argue over anything and everything. Kirk dropped his head on his knees. He should have known better, he should have done something to prevent this.

Bones gripped Jim’s arm firmly, trying to offer more comfort. “He had to stay behind it was the only way to save the rest of us. We’ll go deliver the medicine and then come back for him. And I’ll find him, Jim, I promise.”

***

The moment he was off duty Bones went to his daughter. He needed reassurance that she was all right, and that there was still something in the world to feel good about. She was already in bed, but he gathered her up in his arms anyway and hugged her tightly.

“Daddy, you’re crushing me.”

“Sorry, Jo, I’m just so happy to see you.”

He set her back down on her bed and noticed that she seemed sad.

“What’s wrong, Jo?”

“Spock didn’t come today.”

“What do you mean?”

“He comes to see us at daycare on Mondays.”

“Well we had an important mission today and Spock had to go on it. What does he usually do, Jo? Maybe I could help you with it instead.”

“He teaches stuff, but he promised to play chess with me. It’s like how we play checkers, Daddy, but his game has horsie pieces.”

“He does that?” Bones asked. He never knew Spock did anything but hang around the bridge and the science labs. Outside of playing chess Bones thought they only thing Spock might do for fun was hit himself in the head with a hammer.

“Yeah, he says I’m a model student, that’s good right?”

“Yes it is.”

Bones tucked her into bed and looked at her sadly.

“Joanna, Spock couldn’t come and play today because he had to stay behind on the planet so we could get medicine to other people and help them. Do you understand Jo?”

She nodded. “Uncle Jim will go back and get him soon right?”

“Yes, as soon as he can. Then you and Spock can play chess.”

Bones kissed her hair.

“Goodnight, Jo.”

“Night, Daddy.”

Bones left his daughter’s room and hoped against hope that he hadn’t just lied to her.

***

The transfer of medical supplies was the fastest in the history of the fleet and the Enterprise was back to find their missing crewmember. Now having a far better idea of what they were getting themselves into the shuttlecraft landed without incident on the planet and the medical and security teams spread out to find Spock.

Just as he promised Bones tracked Spock down first in a small cave about a mile from where the shuttlecraft he been. Spock clothes were torn and caked to his skin by dried blood. His breathing was shallow, he was running a fever, had cracked ribs. There was a green trail of blood running from his mouth that indicated a strong chance that one of the ribs had punctured a lung.

But he was alive. He was alive!

As the rest of the medical team began prepping Spock for the trip back Bones ripped his communicator off his belt and shouted into it.

“Galileo Seven to Enterprise, we’ve got him! I repeat we’ve got him!”

***

It was a long surgery, but Bones came out of it smiling like a loon. Spock was going to make it.

When Bones announced that Spock would be okay Kirk actually hugged him.

“Thank you, Bones.”

“You don’t have to thank me.”

Bones really meant that too. He shouldn’t be thanked just for doing his job, especially after the way he had treated Spock during that mission. Bones knew had been wrong about the Vulcan. Spock really did care about others. They weren’t just facts and figures to him. The education of the children was important to Spock, the lives of the landing party were more important to Spock than his own life.

After Bones chased Kirk out of sickbay, telling him to get some rest after he had waited until Spock woke up so they could talk.

He didn’t have to wait long as Spock’s Vulcan metabolism worked the anesthetic quickly out of his body.

“Doctor McCoy?”

“You’re in sickbay, Spock. I’ve treated your injuries and you should recover just fine so long as you don’t try to get back on duty for the next two days.”

“Y-you came back for me.”

“Of course we did, Spock. We don’t leave anyone behind if we can help it.”

“I see.”

“Spock...first I want to say thank you, and then I want to tell you how sorry I am.”

“For what, Doctor McCoy?”

“For acting like a complete asshole when we were trapped on that planet. You should bring me up charges of insubordination. I got mad at you for doing what any command officer is supposed to do, look out for the well-being of everyone they can. It was a hostile environment with a time limit to ensuring the survival of all of us. We all should have known better than to think that just because you gave the grim details to us in less…soft language than we would have liked didn’t make you callous or wrong.”

“Then I accept you apology, Doctor. We all have our own weakness to work on in order to move forward as the captain says.”

Bones chuckled. “Every once and a while Jim gets something right.”

He put a hand on Spock’s shoulder and squeezed gently.

“Thank you again, Spock, for everything.”

“You are welcome.”

When Spock was well enough to return to duty Bones made it a point to share dinner with him and Kirk from then on. He even invited them to Joanna’s fourth birthday party. At the end of it with Joanna and her friends asleep on the floor, a movie that Bones forgot the name of playing as a projection on the wall, and him, Kirk, and Spock draped over each other on the couch with popcorn strewn everywhere Bones had to admit that it was one of the most enjoyable days he had in a long time.


	11. (11/15)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock Prime went to save Romulus from a supernova and failed, leaving him in a universe that is similar and still so different from his own. Meanwhile in another part of the galaxy Kirk Prime was freed from the Nexus by Captain Picard and survived. Not believing that Spock Prime is dead Kirk Prime goes in search of him, and travels to the universe created when Nero went through the black hole. In that universe Kirk and Spock are starting on their five year mission, determined to write their own destinies after their encounters with Spock Prime. Unlike them McCoy doesn’t trust destiny as far as he can throw it, and he has his own problems to deal with, like getting custody of the three year old daughter he didn’t know he had.

Que Sera Sera

Kirk glared at the ugly piece of artwork on the wall of the bar as he sipped his drink.

“You know, Spock, I’ve just realized something.”

“What is that, Captain?”

“I hate my job.”

Spock lifted his eyebrow. “An unusual statement.”

“I mean think about it, we defeat the biggest threat to the Federation we have ever seen, get infected by ‘happy’ spores, nearly lose you to a band of aliens, and now we get to guard a bunch of wheat.”

“Quadrotritcale is not wheat, Captain, it is a hybrid of wheat and rye. It was first introduced in Canada and-“

“Spock, I don’t need a lecture I know exactly what it is: a royal pain in the ass. The only good thing about this is that crew gets some shore leave.”

As if on cue Uhura and Chekov came up to them just then with Joanna in tow.

“Well, you guys didn’t waste any time getting down here.”

Chekov smiled. “They wanted to go shopping and I said I would go with them to help carry the bags.”

The three of them set off. Fifteen minutes later Chekov disappeared into a shop displaying numerous weapons in search of a birthday present for Sulu. While Uhura and Joanna approached a small cart with a few very small fish tanks, and what looked like bright fuzzy balls sitting on the shelves.

The man running the booth smiled at them. “My name is Cyrano Jones, how may I help you?”

“We’re just looking thank you.”

Joanna looked at a small tank filled with colorful jellyfish looking creatures as Uhura picked up one of the balls on the shelves and it cooed at her.

“Oh it’s adorable, what is it?” Uhura asked Cyrano.

“My dear lady, it’s a tribble.”

Joanna picked up a smaller tribble and laughed as it wiggled in her hands.

“Can we get one, Auntie Uhura?”

Uhura bit her lip. “I don’t know, Sweetie. I don’t know what your daddy thinks about getting a pet. They’re a big responsibility.”

Joanna looked at Uhura with puppy dog eyes, her lip sticking out.

“Please?”

“I tell you what let’s pick out one for me and then we can go back to the ship and show daddy how good you are at taking care of him. Then maybe your daddy will let you get one of you own, okay?”

“Okay!”

***

The next morning Kirk and Spock came into the mess hall to find a bunch of crewmembers crowded around a table where Uhura was sitting with eleven tribbles displaying various fur colours spread out before her.

“Did you get this at the space station?” Kirk asked, as he picked one up.

“Yes, and this morning I saw that he-well that she had had babies.”

Joanna sat down by Uhura and pulled a yellow tribble close to her.

“Can I have one daddy, please?”

Bones picked up the fuzzy furball from his daughter’s hands and inspected it.

“I’d like to study one first.”

Uhura looked at Bones sternly.

“Okay, but if you’re going to dissect it I don’t want to know about it.”

“I promise I won’t harm a hair on its head, if it even has a head.”

Before Bones could leave though Scotty came up to the group.“You shouldn’t feed them you know,” he said.

“What do you know about the tribbles, Scotty?” Uhura asked.

“They’re cute and furry, and they breed worse than rabbits.”

Bones frowned as he looked at the table again. “They do seem to have large litters.”

“Are they a danger to the ship Mister Scott?” Spock asked.

“Oh no, I’m not saying we have to get rid of them or anything. As a matter a fact I had one as a pet a while ago. They’re friendly as can be you just have to be mindful about their food intake that’s all.”

“Why did you learn all this?” Uhura asked.

“A bonus science issue in the technical journal I receive.”

“Do you still have it, Scotty? Can I see it?”

“Sure Lassie,” he said, and passed over his PADD for her to look over.

Kirk shook his head, who subscribed to a technical journal? “Don’t you ever relax, Scotty?” he asked.

“I am relaxing.”

“Hey, Lieutenant, can I have one?” a random crew member asked Uhura.

“Well, so long as we all know how to take care of them I don’t see why not, I think they’re old enough,”Uhura said. “Go on.”

***

Two days later much of the ship’s crew had a tribble in their arms, including Kirk. That turned out to be a good thing because it provided a calming agent as he dealt with Nilz Baris and his never ending list of complaints.

“Yes, your complaint about Cyrano Jones has been noted and logged.”

Kirk shut off the comm. link and leaned against the wall.

“I don’t get it, Spock. We’re guarding the stupid wheat. Why does he care what some shop-keeper is selling?”

“If I may, Captain, it has occurred to me that there may be a problem at the station.”

“What, Spock?”

“We are aware of the proper way to care for tribbles, but if not everyone at the space station knows not to feed them then they could quickly breed and get out of hand.”

“And if they get into the wheat…oh, shit! Spock, Bones, we’re beaming down.”

It was nothing short of mayhem on the station. Piles of fuzzing cooing balls were everywhere, including the air vents. Quickly Kirk, Spock, and Bones, went to check on the Quadrotritcale with Mister Baris ranting along behind them.

Kirk worked the door of one of the storage compartments open and the avalanche of furry cooing balls that came out knocked him to the floor.

“They appear to be gorged,” Spock said, as he picked one particularly fat tribble.

Baris was now beet red and yelling louder than before. “Now you’ve done it, Kirk! This entire mission is ruined and I will have you rank for this!”

Before Bones had to treat the man for a heart attack Spock noticed the tribble he was holding wasn’t responding to his touch.

“Captain, this tribble is dead.”

“A lot of them are,” Bones agreed, scanning the pile of them that Kirk was still buried in.

“Bones, I want everything, the tribbles the wheat, analyzed. I want to know what happened here!”

“All right, all right. Spock, help get this stuff to the labs.”

“Of course, Doctor.”

They worked together, trading verbal jabs all the while, and discovered that the grain itself had been poisoned. If it had been cultivated on the planet any colonists would have starved to death.

In light of that discovery everyone piled into the station manager’s office. And it was there that the tribble Kirk had claimed as his own suddenly started shrieked at Mister Baris’ assistant.

Cyrano Jones, who had been brought in on charges of carrying and selling a harmful species, look startled. “Why, I’ve never seen them act like that before.”

Curiously Kirk held the tribble up near Spock. The tribble just cooed softly.

“Well they like humans and they clearly like Vulcans.” Kirk smiled. “I didn’t know you had it in you, Spock.”

“Tribbles are obviously very perceptive creatures, Captain.”

He took the tribble back over to the assistant by the name of Darvin and again the tribble shrieked angrily.

“They don’t like, Darvin, now why do you think that is?”

Bones ran his tricorder over Darvin.

“Jim, this man is a Klingon.”

Kirk held back a groan at that announcement as he called for security to arrest Mister Baris’ assistant, this was going to result is another pile of reports to fill out.

“This is what I get for thinking this mission was going to be boring.”

***

Once the Klingon agent had had been taken into custody, Mister Baris had been thoroughly annoyed, and Cyrano Jones sentenced to clean up every tribble from the space-station Spock went to his quarters to meditate. Changing into his robes he knelt by his meditation lamp and concentrated. His hands in front of him and his fingers pressed together.

He sought focus on his recent interactions with his captain and Doctor McCoy. This was not the first time he had spent time with them both on missions and off duty, but it seemed to Spock that he wanted to have such interaction all the time with those two men regardless of duty. He wanted to be with them totally. He…desired them. He desired them physically and emotionally.

It seemed like a strange realization and yet Spock could not deny to himself that it was true. Doctor McCoy so open, so emotive, it seemed that they should never be able to get along and yet he also valued life as deeply as Spock did. Kirk was aggressive headstrong but also loyal and self-sacrificing, traits the Spock valued in himself and in others. Spock found that he valued both men’s positive traits over their weaknesses. Uhura had been right all those months ago. They were all good together, and what they were achieving here was nothing short of remarkable. Kirk might make comments to the contrary but they had a great success rate against great odds over the last several months. They had learned to work together and in many respects to enjoy each other’s company. Where the mess hall and the rec rooms had once contained groups of solid colours at every table, people sticking close to those they had known at the Academy. Now there were more mixed groups, new activities were being done and proposed and they were forming a proper cohesive unit.

And now it seemed even Spock himself was not immune to this camaraderie. He must deal with that development. As Spock moved deeper into his meditation his mind flashed back to the conversation he had with his counterpart.

_“There are so few Vulcans left we cannot afford to ignore each other.”_

_“Then why did you send Kirk aboard when you alone could have explained the truth?”_

_“Because you needed each other. I could not deprive you of the revelation of all that you could accomplish together. Of a friendship that will define you both, in ways you cannot yet realize.”_

_“How did you persuade him to keep your secret?”_

_“He inferred that universe ending paradoxes would ensue should he break his promise.”_

_“You lied.”_

_“Oh…I…I implied.”_

_“A gamble. “ Spock remembered being rather confused at his counterparts actions, they were so human._

_“An act of faith. One I hope you will repeat in the future at Starfleet.”_

_“In the face of extinction it is only logical that I resign my Starfleet commission and help rebuild our race.”_

_“I submit that you must be centred and whole to fully give of yourself to anyone else, Spock, and that will happen best in Starfleet you know that. Besides you now have the ability to be in two places at once, and I have already found a suitable planet on which to establish a Vulcan colony. I urge you to remain in Starfleet. You may find great fulfillment there, with them.”_

_”Them?”_

_“Jim Kirk is an extraordinary man, but he is not the only one who influenced my life profoundly. That honour goes to an old country doctor as he so often described himself.”_

_“Doctor McCoy’s age is not within numerical parameters to be considered old by human standards. However, he did seem rather fascinated by an event known as the Kentucky Derby that does take place in the southern US if I am not mistaken.”_

His counterpart had looked at him with a strange expression and Spock was struck with how different that man was from himself. He was older of course, but it seemed that those years of experience had smoothed away all the rough edges that Spock knew he himself still carried. His elder self was comfortable with who he was. Spock realized now that his older self had wanted him to know such peace as well.

Spock wondered that if was in such a position now what would he say to a younger version of himself? Spock realized that he too would tell his younger self how much those two men meant to him. How crucial they had become in his life.

Spock opened his eyes.

So it seemed he was his counterpart after all.

No! Spock clenched his fists in defiance.

He would not be like him, could not be like him. He had seen what had become of having such feelings.

His counterpart no longer wished to shield as Spock did. His eyes were open. As his counterpart spoke of those men he eyes revealed not just the comfort that he had grown to have in his own skin, and the fondness of having a relationship with Jim Kirk and Leonard McCoy, but also the deep pain and sorrow that marred his katra. It was not difficult to figure out why, he had lost them. They were human assuming they had not left him on their own, then they might have lived a quarter of his Vulcan lifespan and no more. So, his older self had loved the Jim Kirk and Doctor McCoy of his universe and then lost them; just as his father had lost his mother.

The evidence was clear. To love a human was to be destined to be alone in the universe.

Like happiness love was a lie. Spock would learn to be without them.

***

As Spock came to conclusion that he could never be with the two men he had come to care for above all else Bones was thinking about the very same thing, and coming to a very different conclusion.

If someone told him he would be considering such things at the start of the mission Bones would have laughed at them. No actually he probably would have yelled at them for making such an idiotic comment, and yet here he was thinking about just that.

Jim was his buddy, his best friend. He was the guy Bones went out drinking with, the roommate he threw pillows at to get him to stop snoring. He wasn’t a guy Bones ever thought of building a life with. But he had seen a change in his friend since he had become a captain. Kirk was more grounded now than he had ever been. He was focused and passionate and Bones liked seeing all those good qualities on display. That was someone Bones could see himself being with in a romantic sense.

Spock…now that was something that threw him for a loop even more. The guy was a Vulcan, strict and contained. He was everything Bones was not. However, Bones had seen that just because he kept an aura of control and indifference around him didn’t mean that he didn’t care, even if he didn’t do so it that way Bones did, and that was appealing as well.

Kirk and Spock were both good with Joanna and she liked them in return. Bones wouldn’t try to integrate everyone together to that new level quite yet of course, but in time he would have to. Just like that he realized that he wasn’t thinking about the possibly anymore he was planning out his next steps. The ones he wanted to take to keep moving his life forward.

He was ready to try again he realized. He was ready to love again.

***

What Bones was not really ready to do was talk about it. So he waited a week while he worked up the nerve.

He caught them in the turbolift as their shift ended one day.

“Hey, Bones, haven’t seen you around the bridge lately.”

“Sorry I’ve been kind of busy,” he said, keeping his head down.

“Is something on your mind, Doctor?” Spock asked.

“Yes, actually I…I’d like to talk to you, both of you. Not here, but maybe in your quarters, Jim, over dinner?”

“Sure, Bones.”

Dinner was quiet and filled mostly with chatter about their respective duties for the day.

“So what exactly did you want to talk about, Bones,” Kirk finally asked over dessert, as he put an extra scoop of ice cream on his slice of apple pie.

“Well it’s kind of personal. Oh, hell it’s totally personal. I don’t want to pressure you two I was have just being thinking about us lately. Of us together not as friends but…”

“Whoa, Bones, wait. You mean the three of us together like as a couple?”

“Yes. I know it’s kind of sudden, I-I just really want us to think about it.”

“We shall,” Spock said, looking at Bones seriously.

“Right, Bones, when do you want an answer?” Kirk asked.

Bones chuckled nervously. “Jim, this isn’t a job interview. You guys take as much time as you need. Talk it over or whatever, and when you guys want to meet all three of us or one on one…just let me know.”

Bones left shortly after that. He had gotten the jittery part out now came the even worse part, the waiting. Bones was just crossing his fingers that in the end the wait would be worth it.

***

After nearly two weeks of trying to focus on work and avoiding the bridge in case they felt like he was pressuring them by being there Bones got a response.

“Kirk to McCoy.”

“McCoy here.”

“We’ve thought about it and now we’d like to talk about it, Bones.”

Bones went to meet them immediately. They said to come to the briefing room. Bones did and sat down in a chair, feeling like a rock was settling in his stomach. They were doing this in a meeting room. Not in one of their quarters, or even on the observation deck where there was some attempt at intimacy. This was not going to end well.

“You are a remarkable individual, Doctor McCoy, do not doubt that.”

“But?”

“You are dedicated to your job and your daughter.”

“But?”

“Look, Bones, you really are a great guy-”

“Oh please would you two stop with the ‘it’s not you it’s me speech’! If you don’t want to have anything except friendship just say so.”

“No it’s not that it’s just that I-we…I don’t think it’s really the right time I mean I-”

Bones held up his hand. “Wait a minute, wait a minute. Not the right time? So we agree there could be something here between us?”

“Perhaps,” Spock conceded.

“And we’re going to do nothing about it now because…?”

“I won’t be destiny’s puppet,” Spock announced, while glaring holes in the table in front of him.

“What the hell does that mean?”

“Bones, you remember when Spock dumped me off on Delta Vega?”

Bones rolled his eyes. “Sure, Jim, that’s not something you just forget.”

“Well when I was down there I ran into another Vulcan…and he’s Spock too.”

Bones let his eyebrows rise and leaned in closer to Kirk.

“You want to run that by me again?”

Kirk did his best to explain the circumstances, and when he came to the part where the old Vulcan had transported him and Scotty aboard the Enterprise using a formula developed by future Scotty Spock took over.

“He was rescued from Delta Vega along with the other Vulcan refugees. When he was on Earth he spoke to me-“

“Meaning he totally lied about the universe ending if that happened,” Kirk interjected.

Spock glanced at him and then continued. “He has spoken of this, of what we are to one another. In his reality he was in a relationship with the James T. Kirk and the Leonard H. McCoy of his universe. He seemed to think back on it…fondly.”

“Well isn’t that a sign that it will work then? If he already did it I mean?” Bones asked.

“No, it’s a sign that we’re just a bunch of copycats for what’s already been done. You just said it, Bones, he already did it. They already did everything!”

Kirk got up from his chair and started pacing the room.

“Don’t you see? We’re nothing now. Everything is just a repeat of what they already did!”

“No it’s not, Jim, we know he didn’t deal with Nero.”

“Yeah, that just makes us a broken version of them.”

“They are us and we are them unless we force it to be otherwise,” Spock said.

Bones snorted. “This from the guy who said that our destinies were changed.”

Spock turned his head to glare at the wall. “I may have been mistaken.”

Bones rolled his eyes. “Well, at least I got to hear that.”

Kirk leaned against the table, pleading with Bones, wanting his best friend to understand.

“I won’t just be a shade of what was, Bones, whatever the future holds we’ll make those decisions ourselves.”

“And your decision is to tell me no,” Bones said sharply, as he shoved his chair back and headed for the door.

Kirk was around the table in an instant and caught his arm.

“Bones, look this-this doesn’t have to change anything.”

Bones nodded.

“Of course I’ll be totally professional…Captain.”

With that he jerked his arm away from Kirk and left the room.

He arrived back at his quarters, thanked Janice for watching Joanna on such short notice, then sighed deeply and sat down on his bed.

He had his hands on his knees resting his head on them when Joanna came in, wearing her pyjamas and carrying a stuffed stegosaurs toy.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, Sweetheart?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing little girls need to worry about. Something just didn’t go the way I wanted it to that’s all.”

Joanna crawled up on the bed and into his lap.

“I don’t like it when you’re sad.”

Bones felt his face relax out of its frown just a bit as he hugged her tightly.

“Well, being with you doesn’t make me so sad.”

She hugged him back.

“Play checkers before bed?” she asked.

That got a full smile from Bones. “Okay.”

They played one quick game tucked her into bed and once he changed out of his uniform and stretched out under the covers, and he eventually fell asleep in the empty bed.


	12. (12/15)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock Prime went to save Romulus from a supernova and failed, leaving him in a universe that is similar and still so different from his own. Meanwhile in another part of the galaxy Kirk Prime was freed from the Nexus by Captain Picard and survived. Not believing that Spock Prime is dead Kirk Prime goes in search of him, and travels to the universe created when Nero went through the black hole. In that universe Kirk and Spock are starting on their five year mission, determined to write their own destinies after their encounters with Spock Prime. Unlike them McCoy doesn’t trust destiny as far as he can throw it, and he has his own problems to deal with, like getting custody of the three year old daughter he didn’t know he had.

Que Sera Sera

With that sound rejection from Kirk and Spock Bones did his best to move on. He tried to tell himself that is was easier this time. There hadn’t been an actual relationship so there wasn’t an issue of command structure. He didn’t have to worry about Joanna getting attached to them only to have them leave. They would still be Uncle Spock and Uncle Jim. There weren’t expensive lawyers to pay, or painful memories being made while trying to split up items and money.

So why did this seem to hurt so much more?

Maybe it was because his divorce from Jocelyn came from a concrete place. It had been about two angry people who tried to take on the world. Only to have the world kick their asses when they realized they couldn’t make a marriage work. For this there hadn’t even been a relationship to fail at. Instead Kirk and Spock wouldn’t even give what all of them felt a chance because they thought it was more important to run away from the boogeyman they called fate and destiny. Well Bones didn’t trust destiny any further than he could throw it, and it was infuriating to watch the first real chance at happiness he had allowed himself, not counting Joanna of course, since the divorce be denied in its name.

So the day he huffed into his office glaring at everything seemed like it was going to be a regular day.

Until his nose started to bleed.

At first Bones thought nothing of it. The air had always been dry on the ship. Sure he had been tired lately but that was to be expected with a four year old. So he grabbed a tissue from the box on his desk, pinched his nose closed to get the blood to clot and waited for it to stop.

When there was a large pile of tissues, soaked in red, began taking over half his desk with still no end in sight he called for Nurse Chapel.

Chapel was nothing short of a complete professional as she got him out of his office and into a private exam room. Normally Bones would have put up a fight about going to a bunch of trouble for nothing, but not this time. He had Joanna to think about and he and Chapel both knew something was wrong. This kind of a strong symptom was not normal. When the bleeding had finally stopped they got his numbers back where they should be and started running tests.

His blood ran cold as he read the results and Chapel hugged him, saying that she was sorry.

Xenocpolycythemia.

He was terminal. There was no cure. Most patients got about a year to live after diagnosis.

Oh god his father might outlive him.

“Christine, please don’t tell anyone. I’ll let the captain know soon I…I just need time.”

“Of course.”

She left the room and Bones let his head drop into hands and he cried. God how would he ever tell Joanna? He had promised himself he would be there for her. That he would always put her first. What the hell was he going to do?

It apparently was a good thing Kirk and Spock didn’t want to pursue a relationship with him. That that Vulcan had spooked them by talking about fate and destiny and…wait they had said he was from the future! Maybe, maybe he would know something about this disease. A way to slow it down, maybe even a cure. Bones knew it was a long shot, but seeking out his help couldn’t be any worse than sitting around here and waiting for the inevitable. He had to try. He owed it to his daughter to have at least one parent to raise her.

As he started planning out his next steps Bones wondered for a moment if he should tell Kirk and Spock about all this. Bones quickly told himself no. They had made it clear what they wanted, this wasn’t any of their business.

***

A week later the crew of the Enterprise had two days of shore leave on a planet near the planet where the Vulcan colony was. Bones was expected to receive a new doctor from the colony; a man by the name of Geoffrey M’Benga. So no one was suspicious when he went ahead by shuttle to get the man from the space-port orbiting the planet. He took Nurse Chapel with him so M’Benga could get to the Enterprise, because Bones knew he wasn’t going back. Instead he planned to go down to the colony. Using his mother’s maiden name to try and avoid leaving a trail he secured passage down to the planet.

“If this doesn’t work, don’t forget that a lot can happen in a year, Leonard, please give yourself every minute.”

“Thank you, for everything, Christine.”

“Good luck.”

She and M’Benga left and Bones and Joanna headed down to the planet. When they arrived Bones headed for the administration building. After getting him and Joanna lunch at the small cafeteria Bones went to try and find someone to help him track down future Spock.

“Daddy, when do we go back to the ship?” Joanna asked as she looked up from her colouring books spread out on the floor.

Joanna knew how this worked. When it was shore leave time daddy or her babysitters would take her somewhere fun, and then they would go back to the ship so daddy could work again.

“Joanna, sweetheart, this time we’re not going back.”

“How come?”

“Because daddy is going to visit a friend.”

“Oh.”

Bones went back to the computer and his PADD filled with forms and notes the cool lady at the front desk had given him. Bones remembered what the Vulcan looked like pretty well, and he knew his name, how hard could this be?

Very hard was the answer Bones found out.

The only record of a Spock was the one onboard the Enterprise. Bones felt like an idiot, a guy from the future of course he would have picked an alias, and Bones didn’t have the first clue what kind of name he would pick. So he started checking age and dates of Vulcans arriving on the colony, trying to narrow down who this future guy might be.

When Bones had all the information he could get he went searching on foot in the supposedly residential area of the colony. Joanna had long since fallen asleep and Bones’ arms were cramping up from holding her and the bag of things he had packed for them as he kept searching.

After another two hours Bones found the dwelling that looked remotely like the one on file for the man he was pretty sure was the one he was looking for.

The house was nothing elaborate, it had the same plaster making up the walls, and the shape of the building was like the last ten houses Bones had passed, but there were more plants surrounding the house and a decorative touch to the door. Illogical touches that someone with a human half might put up. Also it was a bit further out from the main streets, good for a Vulcan that might not want people asking too many questions.

Bones made his way up the path to the home and knocked on the door.

A minute later it opened to reveal a Vulcan that looked the one he remembered in the shuttle bay, but that could have been the heat stroke talking so Bones wasn’t taking any chances.

“May I help you?”

“If your name is Selek then yes you can.”

“I am addressed as such.”

“At last! Look you don’t know me. My name is Leonard McCoy and I’m sorry to impose like this, but I need to talk you about something very private and I would love to be able to do it in a place with shade. I’ve spent the last I don’t know how many hours trying to track you down. Your administration here is useless.”

“I apologize for that, please come in.”

He stepped back to let Bones enter his home. Then he led Bones into a bedroom and they got Joanna settled on the bed.

They went into the small living room. Bones sat down on the couch while the elder Vulcan took a chair opposite him.

“What brings you here, Doctor McCoy?”

“I need help. Jim and Spock they talked about a Vulcan that came from the timeline that Nero did. You know I’m a doctor so you are him, aren’t you?”

“I am.”

“So, so you’re from the future. I know medical research is always moving forward, and I thought perhaps where you come from they might have a certain cure.”

“What specifically are you looking for?”

“Have you heard of Xenopolycythemia?”

Bones watched as that goddamned eyebrow went up and the elder Spock folded his hands together in his lap.

“Indeed, I know of it.”

Bones took a deep breath; his whole future was riding on the answer to his next question. “Do you know if anything can be done to cure it?”

“In my timeline there is a cure, but I can’t tell what you wish to know about it-“

Bones cut him off. “Look if you tell me you can’t tell me because this has to do with destiny or fucking up the precious timeline I swear on my dad’s pending grave I will forget every manner I was ever taught and punch you.”

Bones could swear the Vulcan was actually smiling as he leaned back in his chair.

“No, Doctor McCoy, it is nothing quite so existential. I cannot tell you because I do not know all the components of the cure for your disease. It never occurred to me that there would be a time when I would need that specific knowledge.”

Bones sat back on the couch and his shoulders slumped. Well he knew it was a long shot, a million to one odds, and at least he had tried.

“However, I can put you in contact with a man who does have that knowledge.”

With that the elder Vulcan got up and went into another room. Bones could hear murmuring voices and then approaching footsteps. It was a different man who came into the living room this time though, a human male who looked to be in his mid-seventies.

No one had to tell him who he was Bones just knew.

Bones felt his jaw fall open; he was shocked by the man. Not because it was like looking in a mirror, but because it wasn’t. They were so different. The first thing that shocked him were the eyes, so bright and so blue. Then Bones took in the withered face and the lighter hair colour. The man almost looked like he belonged on a horse with an old gun on his belt and a black Stetson hat on his head.

McCoy looked at the pup of a boy sitting on the couch, rolled his eyes, and held out his hand.

“Leonard Horatio McCoy I presume?”

“Yeah.”

Bones took hold of his counterpart’s hand and shook it firmly.

“Let’s skip the pleasantries and get right to business, Boy, why are you here?”

“I need help,” Bones confessed. “Jim and Spock they told me about a Vulcan they knew. They said he’s from the future I thought that he could-oh shit!”

Bones swore as he felt liquid suddenly start running down his face. He pressed one hand hard under his nose, trying to keep the blood from dripping on the floor.

McCoy’s eyes widened in shock and it didn’t take him long to deduce the problem. The blood was coming too much and too fast, his disease had come early.

Quickly McCoy got his younger self into the bathroom and worked to get the bleeding under control. McCoy sat him down on the ledge in the shower to have an easier time cleaning everything up. He grabbed a towel and pressed his fingers against his nose to try and get the blood to clot. Bones could only watch in awe as the man did his job. Those hands on his face were firm and sure, even if they trembled slightly, those were surgeon’s hands.

“Daddy?”

Both men jumped and turned to the door to see wide brown eyes looking up at them.

“Joanna!”

Joanna walked over to them slowly, looking at the blood.

“Daddy, are you hurt?”

“No, no, Sweetheart, I’m all right.”

“Daddy sick?” she asked, her eyes filling with tears.

Bones shoulders slumped in defeat. He couldn’t lie to her it wasn’t right.

“Yeah, but he’s going to make me better, Jo. He’s a doctor too.”

Joanna sniffled and flung herself at McCoy’s leg, gripping it tightly.

“Make him better! Please?”

“Of course, Darlin’, that’s what doctors do.”

Joanna’s eyes fell to the floor and she scuffed one foot against it.

“Not all the time,” she said.

McCoy knelt down, putting his hand gently under Joanna’s chin and looked her in the eyes.

“No, not all the time, but this time I will, I promise,” he said firmly.

Spock came to stand in the doorway.

“I am sorry I didn’t realize she was awake.”

Spock refrained from any further explanations as he caught sight of Bones.

“Are you all right, Doctor?”

Bones nodded even with the towel still pressed up against his face.

“Yeah, would you mind watching her, just for a bit?”

“Of course not.”

Spock took Joanna gently by the hand and they left the two men alone. McCoy quickly closed the door behind them and then leaned against the sink. His knees trembled, his chest heaved, and tears started running down his face.

He closed his eye as the memories of his first days out of the transporter began flooding his mind. He and Joanna were out on the hospital’s sunroom, he was sitting in a wheelchair because the children they let be doctors these days didn’t trust him to walk on his own yet. She was curled up awkwardly on his lap. He was trying to tell her through the tears that he was sorry this had happened. Joanna had responded by telling him the she didn’t give a damn, even if she died tomorrow, because she had gotten something she had only dreamed about for two years.

She got to be somebody’s little girl again.

Now just for a little while she truly got to be his little girl one more time. Would the wonders of the universe never cease?

Slowly McCoy got himself back under control, splashed water on his face and dried his tears.

“Sorry it’s just…it’s just unbelievable to see her like that again.”

Bones quirked his eyebrows at him and McCoy just shook his head. “Where I come from she is a great-grandmother.”

The nosebleed had finally stopped by then and Bones started cleaning up. Afterwards McCoy took Bones to the main bedroom and handed him a fresh shirt.

“I’m sorry to impose like this.”

“You’re not imposing. I’m a doctor, helping people is what I do.”

When he was presentable again they went back out to the living room. McCoy and Bones watched from the porch window as Joanna helped Spock out in the garden.

“I can’t believe you got custody of her. How did Jocelyn ever agree to it?”

Bones’ eyes widened as that statement made its full impact on him. That man had not had this. His counterpart’s life had been different, very different, from what Bones was currently experiencing. With all of Kirk and Spock’s complaining he had assumed, just as they had, that it was just a given that their counterparts were from the future. Therefore they had done it all, seen it all, and so they knew it all. Bones never thought that he would have something to tell his other self.

Bones recovered from the shock and shook his head. “Jocelyn never told me she was pregnant. She died in an accident nine months ago.”

“I’m sorry.”

McCoy’s words were sincere. She had been their wife once upon a time and no matter how time and circumstances had battered and bruised it some love still remained.

“Thanks.”

Bones turned so he could look at McCoy eye to eye.

“Spock, your Spock I guess, told me that you have the information I need, the treatment I need, and…I’ll get on my knees and beg for this, but can you help me? Please, I’m all she has now.”

“Of course I will.”

Bones smiled in relief. There was hope after all.

“Thank you.”

Just then the front door opened and the final member of the household was home.

“Spock, I’m telling you this is hopeless I-"

Jim stopped short as he saw they had a visitor.

Well shit, Bones thought of course he was here too the universe was cruel like that. Bones didn’t even bother to ask the man his name there was no point; still he tilted his head to the side as he studied the man before him. He was right Kirk’s metabolism was totally going to screw him over. This older version of Kirk carried the weight well though.

Jim crossed his arms over his chest defensively. “Dare I ask who you are?”

“McCoy, Leonard McCoy.”

Jim rolled his eyes.

“Of course you are.”

McCoy smiled and put on arm around Bones’ shoulders.

“I like him, Jim.”

Jim just glared at McCoy. “You would,” he said, and then turned that glare to the younger man.

“You had to go and complicate all of this didn’t you?”

Before Bones could think up an answer to that ridiculous question Spock came in, and Joanna came running into the room along with him.

“Hi!”

Jim’s eyes went wide.

“H-hello and what’s your name?”

“Joanna! I’m four and a quarter old, sir!”

Oh damn Jim knew he was going to love her.


	13. (13/15)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock Prime went to save Romulus from a supernova and failed, leaving him in a universe that is similar and still so different from his own. Meanwhile in another part of the galaxy Kirk Prime was freed from the Nexus by Captain Picard and survived. Not believing that Spock Prime is dead Kirk Prime goes in search of him, and travels to the universe created when Nero went through the black hole. In that universe Kirk and Spock are starting on their five year mission, determined to write their own destinies after their encounters with Spock Prime. Unlike them McCoy doesn’t trust destiny as far as he can throw it, and he has his own problems to deal with, like getting custody of the three year old daughter he didn’t know he had.

Que Sera Sera

Despite a rocky introduction to Jim Bones was welcomed into the three men’s home and given the small spare bedroom to sleep in for the night.

Not that he was getting a lot of sleep thanks to the little one he had to share the bed with.

“Daddy.”

Bones rolled over and tried to ignore the tiny voice.

“Daddy.” The voice came again followed by the covers being tugged away from him.

Finally giving into the inevitable Bones rolled back over and cracked one eye open to look at his daughter.

“Wake–up, Daddy.”

Bones sighed. He should have known this would happen. She had had a long nap yesterday. He sat up and looked out the window to see that sun was barely making a mark on the horizon.

“Joanna, it’s really early.”

“You have to be up early. I played with Selek all day yesterday and you didn’t. So today you play with your friend.”

“Well he won’t be up yet so we have to be quiet now so everybody else can sleep.”

Hoping to find something to help keep him awake Bones walked softly into the kitchen, only to find his counterpart standing at the kitchen counter with a mug in his hand.

“Not asleep!” Joanna announced.

McCoy smiled. “I see no one is,” he said, and went to the fridge. He pulled out a pitcher of juice and poured some into a glass.

“It’s as close to orange juice as we can get here, but it still tastes good,” he said, handing Joanna the glass.

“Joanna, what do you say?”

“Thank you.”

With both hands around the glass she took it over to the table and sat down.

“Now should I ask you what you want or skip right to the fresh coffee I managed to trade for last week?”

“Coffee.”

McCoy chuckled. “I thought so.”

McCoy poured him a full mug and they joined Joanna at the table

“Where are Kirk and Spock?” Bones asked.

“Still in the bedroom, they often meditate together in the morning.”

“Kirk actually sits still long enough for that?” Bones asked incredulously.

McCoy smiled and nodded.

“Surprises me too, but yes he does.”

They had just finished their drinks when Jim and Spock came into the kitchen.

“Good morning.”

“Hey,” Bones said.

“You ready?” Jim asked McCoy.

“Always.”

“We stretch in the mornings before breakfast,” Spock explained. “You are welcome to join us, Doctor, and you as well, Miss McCoy.”

“You can stand in the back with the other green horns,” McCoy said.

Jim pouted. “Hey, I’m not that bad, Bones.”

“Trust me, Jim, you are.”

They all moved into the backyard. Spock stood in front of them and led them through a series of stretches. Bones watched Joanna stretching her body easily as the sun rose higher, while he struggled to reach his fingers to his toes.

Still Bones found that it was oddly refreshing.

“Now what should we have for breakfast?” Jim asked when they were finished and were going back inside.

“Waffles!” Joanna exclaimed. “They hold lots of syrup.”

Jim smiled. “A girl after my own heart.”

“A heart you’re determined to clog up with cholesterol, Jim,” McCoy said, rolling his eyes, but pulled out the ingredients anyway.

When breakfast was ready Bones picked away at his, feeling guilty

“Look I can never thank you three enough for all this, if I could give back in some way I’d love to.”

“Well why didn’t you say so?“ McCoy exclaimed. “These two can watch Joanna and you can come with me to the clinic today. I can start synthesising the drug and you can help out too; So long as that doctorate of yours didn’t come out of a cereal box.”

“I’m fully certified,” Bones growled.

“Just checking.”

“So do you really remember the components of the treatment off by heart?” Bones asked.

McCoy smiled. “Boy, the time I dealt with this disease it involved a hollow asteroid spaceship and a delightful young woman. Trust me I remember.”

Bones thought it would be better if he didn’t ask for details.

“You’re sure you two don’t mind watching her today?” Bones asked Jim and Spock, hating to impose even more on their hospitality.

Jim waved off the question. “Of course not; in fact I just made a Space Invaders game on the computer. Do you want to help me win, Joanna?”

“Yeah!”

With that she jumped up from her chair and ran off into the other room.

Before Jim went after her he and Spock saw Bones and McCoy off to the clinic. Bones watched as they stood there caressing their fingers and squeezing McCoy’s shoulder. They were subtle gestures of affection, probably for his benefit, they had no way of knowing that what they were as a couple was something that could be here in this universe already. It was all so simple and yet it spoke volumes about what they meant to each other.

God why couldn’t he have that?

***

Bones and McCoy walked to the clinic that turned out to be a small building on the edge of a hill looking over, well Bones guess he could call it a city, at least it would be one day.

As they entered the building a tall Vulcan walked by them, he narrowed his eyes at Bones and Bones gulped.

McCoy quickly interceded, speaking in broken Vulcan and the man moved on.

“My office is on the third floor,” McCoy said, and started for the stairs.

“You don’t have a lift here?” Bones asked.

“Lifts are for old people and patients, Boy, now get moving.”

Bones glared as McCoy shoved him up the stairs.

“And what the hell am I? A guinea pig?”

“No, as I just explained to the head Vulcan you’re my son.”

“I’m your what?!”

“Keep your voice down! This is a clinic, not a goddamn space station.”

They got to the third floor and McCoy pushed Bones inside his office.

“Have a seat on the bed.”

Instead of doing that Bones went over to the window. He looked out a view of the other wing of the clinic and the small courtyard that separated them.

“This is all you have?”

McCoy looked up from his notes on his work station.

“Son, this, for all they pretend otherwise is a refugee camp nothing more.”

“But Vulcans are one of the most advanced races in the Federation.”

“Yes, and they achieved that through thousands of years of progress. You can’t just whip that out of thin air in a few months, and with so few resources.”

“Why won’t they take more help then? The Federation would be willing to render all kinds of assistance.”

“They’re Vulcans. They’re a private species where weakness is not to be shown.”

“None of that comes to mind when I think of the word logical.”

“It’s not, they grew out of a warrior culture and those roots haven’t disappeared either.”

Bones finally got on the bed, McCoy looked at him checking his vitals, before holding up the hypospray filled with his home-made concoction.

“We have to do three rounds of treatment initially. After that we’ll check your numbers and see if we need anymore. You’ll have the usual side effects: nausea, aches, dry mouth. The injection site is going to itch and bruise something awful. Any questions?”

Bones shook his head.

When that was done both men started helping out the others.

“You okay?” McCoy asked as they worked their way through several lists of patients.

“Yeah, I can handle it.”

He had dealt with bigger crowds on the Enterprise. Of course he had been healthy then too.

McCoy smirked knowingly. “Warrior pride,” he said.

Bones rolled his eyes. “Fine, help me figure this stupid chart out.”

***

Shore leave was done and the Enterprise was back to patrolling the space around New Vulcan, making sure it was safe. No one wanted to see anything happen to the Vulcan colony. Everything was quiet so far though so Kirk took the time to look over the daily duty roster. As he was about to sign off on it he noticed that M’Benga was assigned to sickbay, but not Bones. Kirk frowned and looked through the roster for the rest of the week and show that Bones was no where to be found. He knew Bones would want to rotate M’Benga onto the schedule, but all week in his first days on the ship?

“Spock, has McCoy mentioned why he removed himself from the duty roster at the department meeting?”

“No, Captain, in fact Doctor McCoy was not present at this week’s meeting. I assumed he had discussed such matters with you.”

Kirk hadn’t really seen Bones since their talk in the briefing room. He knew that Bones might need some time to be comfortable around them again, but if this whole no go on the relationship thing was affecting his work that was unacceptable.  
Spock joined Kirk in the turbolift as their shift ended and stood by him as Kirk headed for his quarters and the computer at his desk.

“Computer, location of Doctor McCoy.”

“Doctor McCoy is not onboard on the vessel.”

“What!?”

Spock quickly ran a diagnostic on the computer, checking for any errors; there were none.

“Where the hell is he?! You can’t just disappear off this ship!”

Kirk and Spock went to sickbay demanding an answer, but Chapel turned out to be as tight lipped as Aldebaran shell mouth.

“Nurse, as your commanding officers-“

“By the rules and regulations that you are so happy to rattle off, Commander, I don’t have to tell you anything and I won’t. Now if you don’t stop interrupting our work I will have you removed rank or no rank, is that clear?”

Kirk stormed out of sickbay and Spock shifted his gaze over to Kirk as the door to sickbay slid shut.

“You often ignore regulations, Jim.”

“You know me so well, Spock.”

They returned to Kirk’s quarters and with a few well-placed hacking maneuvers Kirk and Spock learned that Bones had left on medical leave, that he had gone to New Vulcan, and that he was terminal.

“Why would he go there if he has Xenopolycythemia? The Vulcans don’t have a cure, no one in the Federation does.”

“He may have sought my counterpart. He comes from the future and perhaps there exists a cure in his time.”

Kirk frowned and sat back in his chair. “We’re his friends, Spock, why didn’t he tell us?”

Spock thought back to their conversation in the briefing room. Humans put value on emotional pain and both he and Kirk had ignored Doctor McCoy’s in favour of their own issues.

“Did we give him good reason to think he should?”

Kirk narrowed his eyes and then slammed his fist down on his desk.

“We’re bringing him home.”


	14. (14/15)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock Prime went to save Romulus from a supernova and failed, leaving him in a universe that is similar and still so different from his own. Meanwhile in another part of the galaxy Kirk Prime was freed from the Nexus by Captain Picard and survived. Not believing that Spock Prime is dead Kirk Prime goes in search of him, and travels to the universe created when Nero went through the black hole. In that universe Kirk and Spock are starting on their five year mission, determined to write their own destinies after their encounters with Spock Prime. Unlike them McCoy doesn’t trust destiny as far as he can throw it, and he has his own problems to deal with, like getting custody of the three year old daughter he didn’t know he had.

Que Sera Sera

Bones sat at the kitchen table with his daughter and the others just as he had for nearly a week, and like the first day he was there he was picking at his food. This time it was not out of guilt, but a total lack of appetite that kept him from eating. The treatments were going poorly. They had slowed the progress of the disease, but they had not stopped it and were not going to stop it. McCoy had expressed his sympathies and he desire to help his young counterpart. They had searched for something else to try and had found something that might work, but it would be risky.

All worrying was cut short however when there was a knock on the door.

“Now who could that be?” Jim asked.

“I will see who it is,” Spock said, and got up from the table.

Bones steeled himself. He knew who it was before they came in. He could only cover his tracks for so long and Kirk wasn’t stupid. Sure enough as Spock came back into the kitchen Bones was met with blazing blue eyes and furrowed pointed eyebrows from the men he brought in with him. They both meant the same thing: Bones was going to get it.

After looking at the other men at the table and muttering, “I should have known he’d bring them here too,” Kirk turned his attention back to Bones. “I should have you court martial you know that? After everything we’ve been through you just run away to try a bunch of experimental crap when you’re-“

Bones cut him off with a pleading look and pointed at Joanna.

“You’re…eating breakfast,” Kirk finished clumsily.

“How come Uncle Jim is mad, Daddy?”

“He doesn’t want me to try a new medicine, because it might not be safe. But daddy has to try the medicine because if it works lots of other people can use it and they’ll get better too.”

“Oh.”

“Joanna, there is a new game on the computer you may play if you would like to.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” the elder Spock said.

“Wash your hands first.”

“Okay, Daddy.”

Bones waited until his daughter was out of ear-shot and then rounded on his former crewmates.

“How dare you! Those files were private!”

“Doctor, the testing is in its infancy-”

“Don’t change the subject!”

“Bones, I wouldn’t have done all that if you just told me what the hell you were doing and why!”

“I did, Captain. I filed all the paperwork and I assigned a replacement as Chief Medical Officer. I did everything by the book and you had no right to hack my files. If I weren’t dealing with more important things right now I would bring you to the authorities.”

Before Kirk or Spock could give a reply McCoy cut in.

“Hold up, he’s your chief medical officer?”

“Yes he is,” Kirk answered, “and he went over my head to-“

“As CMO of the Enterprise I have the authority to name my replacement and take sick leave without your approval, Captain.”

McCoy looked at his counterpart curiously. “Wait a minute, Boy, just how old are you?”

“Thirty,” Bones answered tersely.

McCoy sat back in his chair, his eyebrows going up.

“Oh, oh how marvellous, he’s thirty!”

The sarcasm could be cut with a knife and Bones glared at McCoy.

“What did you think I was on that ship? An orderly?”

“I thought you were the junior doctor. At your age you’re supposed to be under someone! You can’t leave a starship sickbay in the hands of a child!”

“You know what, Jim, he’s right you should find someone older. Maybe he’d like to do it, and then you don’t even have to change the paperwork when this is all over.”

“I don’t want anyone else, Bones, I want you!”

“Jim, I’m dying. What part of that don’t you understand!? The treatments have only slowed down the progress of my disease. This new type of drug and surgery it could save hundreds, maybe even thousands of people.”

Kirk had looked up what Bones and his counterpart apparently wanted to do as he waited for the Enterprise to finish its patrol of the region and get back to the Vulcan colony. He had been worried about Bones and there had been nothing else to focus his energy on. The treatment was dangerous. Like the medieval days of chemotherapy and radiation the cure could do just as much harm as the disease itself.

“It could kill you, Bones.”

“Maybe, but even then the knowledge gained by the trial could still help countless others. One man’s life against all of them, Jim? I think it’s a fair trade. The needs of the many outweigh-“

“The needs of the few,” Jim continued.

“Or the one,” both Spocks finished in unison.

Kirk shivered.

“I wish you guys wouldn’t do that, it’s so creepy.”

Bones shoved his chair back angrily and stood up. “I knew it! I knew that’s what this was really about!”

“Oh, now what the hell did I do, Bones?!”

“You just won’t get off this whole were a bunch of copies of them kick. Well you know what? If there’s some all-powerful force controlling my destiny, it’s got the skills of an office temp with a bad attitude!”

“We don’t have to be like them!”

“Did you ever think that maybe I want to?!”

Kirk gaped at him. “What?”

“Maybe it never crossed that macho mind of yours, you thinking you’re young and invincible and all, but I like the idea of having people to grow old with. Hell I like the idea of getting to grow old!”

The younger Spock quirked an eyebrow. “Explain.”

“Look you two, especially you, Jim, you’re at home in the stars. Traveling to new worlds, meeting new civilizations, that’s the passion that drives you. Me I’m a doctor, I’m about healing. I can do that on Earth, Mars, or the Enterprise. I know, thanks to seeing these guys, that they’ll be a time when our lives won’t be all about work anymore and I want to have something else besides my daughter to share it with.”

Jim looked at his own country doctor.

“Bones, you don’t really think that do you?”

“It’s true, Jim. I want to help people. Now the frontier is where the best of that happens. Learning new techniques, seeing your work play out in front of you, but my passion isn’t tied to the stars like yours. Why do you think I’ve adjusted so well to us being here? I can help here or in our own universe it doesn’t matter. What matters is that I’m with you two.”

“And speaking of help we have to go,” Bones said, as he and McCoy brushed past Kirk and Spock and made his way to the front door. “And look on the bright side, Jim, if this treatment doesn’t work then I have changed our destinies haven’t I?”

“Bones, look we-“

He glared at Kirk and Spock. “Don’t follow me,” he said, and slammed the door.

***

The day passed pretty much in silence after that. Bones giving McCoy one word answers to everything as they made sure everything was prepared for the procedure the following day.

They didn’t talk about anything personal until they were making their way home for the night.

“So have long have you wanted to be with them?” McCoy finally asked.

Bones shrugged. “I don’t know. I think it was around the time Spock got injured trying to save my sorry ass and Jim camped out in my sickbay until he was released.”

“Yeah that sounds about right.” McCoy shoved his hands into his pockets and sighed.

“It’s so strange you know. In my world I was the one running for the hills when this came up.”

“Really?”

“Uh huh, I was burned by the divorce and losing Joanna. I was convinced that getting involved with people intimately only got me hurt. I vowed never to do that again.”

Bones gave him a knowing look.

“Do the best ideas really happen in brown cheap motel rooms at 4am?”

McCoy laughed. “Probably not. But the point is you’re in a better place than I was at your age, and for about a decade beyond this, so that’s good. If they come around, and even if they don’t, you’re emotionally healthy. Don’t sell yourself short just because they are acting like a couple of thick headed idiots.”

Bones kicked at the sand. “It would help if I didn’t love them so much.”

“Of course it would.”

They went inside to find everyone waiting for them in the living room.

“Don’t you have a ship to get back to?” Bones asked tersely.

“You said we couldn’t come with you. You didn’t say we had to leave.”

Bones just glared and Kirk got off the couch and came over to him.

“I’m sorry, Bones, you’re right we shouldn’t have just barged in like this, but we’re worried about you. In fact if you you want we could…” Kirk trailed off, letting his fingers come up and run along Bones’ arm

Bones batted his hand away.

“What are you offering me, Jim? Love or a going away present?”

“What the hell do you want, Bones?”

“I know what I want, Jim, you and Spock are the ones chasing past lives. You figure it out on your own what’s more important, dreams or reality. I’m going to lie down.”

Bones went into the spare bedroom to find his daughter already asleep in the bed.

“I love you, Joanna. I always will, even if I won’t be here to say it to you anymore.”

When Bones left the room and Kirk slumped down on the couch next to Spock. “Now what?” he asked.

“We support him, Jim, even if he doesn’t want us to,” the younger Spock declared.

“Yeah.”

Jim looked at the two of them.

“Not to make an issue out of an already bad situation, but this is what I mean, Spock, when I say that us being here isn’t really helping anyone. They’re here and I think they have a right to existence without us telling them what’s ‘destined’ for them.”

“I submit that the empire is illogical,” McCoy muttered.

Jim glared at McCoy. “You want to repeat that, Bones?”

“Just thinking out loud, thinking that it might be hypocritical, Jim, to berate Spock for something you yourself once did.”

“So now you want to stay too!?”

“No, no I’m just saying there are no easy answers here. You once thought you should help another universe even if it might have cost us our only chance at getting home. Now Spock wants to help this universe become better just like you did, for him it will just take longer.”

“Our own universe may need us. What if the timeline speeds don’t differ? Our own timeline could be going to war with the Romulans again for all we know.”

“That’s why we agreed you and Leonard could leave, Jim,” Spock said.

“I know, but I didn’t fight so hard for this just to lose you again, Spock.”

“This relationship is that important to you?” the younger Spock asked.

“You’re damn right it is!” McCoy and Jim exclaimed.

Spock sat back on the couch thinking over their blunt assertions; perhaps his initial assessment that a relationship with a human could not be a long lasting one had been incorrect. Still his older self had still lost those men once, and he and Kirk could perhaps lose Doctor McCoy far sooner than they wished. It was better not to have pursued anything with him.

“Is it really our destiny to be together?” Kirk asked.

Jim shook his head in annoyance. “How the hell should we know, Kid? We got together in our time because we wanted to, not because some divine being told us we were supposed to.”

“So how do we know if we should do that too?”

Jim looked at his younger counterpart sternly. “If your Bones means as much to you as you say he does then you’ll make the right choice.”

Kirk fidgeted on the couch. “It seems…difficult.”

“Most things worth having usually are,” Jim said.


	15. (15/15)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock Prime went to save Romulus from a supernova and failed, leaving him in a universe that is similar and still so different from his own. Meanwhile in another part of the galaxy Kirk Prime was freed from the Nexus by Captain Picard and survived. Not believing that Spock Prime is dead Kirk Prime goes in search of him, and travels to the universe created when Nero went through the black hole. In that universe Kirk and Spock are starting on their five year mission, determined to write their own destinies after their encounters with Spock Prime. Unlike them McCoy doesn’t trust destiny as far as he can throw it, and he has his own problems to deal with, like getting custody of the three year old daughter he didn’t know he had.

Que Sera Sera

Kirk and Spock went with Bones and their counterparts to the clinic when Bones went in for the procedure the next morning.

Bones hugged Joanna hard and kissed her goodbye, before letting the elder Spock and Jim take her out to the courtyard. Bones didn’t want her to see him being prepped for surgery.

Kirk and Spock remained by his side.

“Why are you such a good patient with him Bones?” Kirk asked suddenly as he watched Bones wait patiently on the bed as McCoy ran his tests and prepared the drugs for the procedure. “Normally you yell at everyone and insist you can be back on duty.”

“Because I don’t have to watch my sickbay fall apart from a bio-bed, Jim.”

“Your staff knows what they’re doing, Bones, you should trust them.”

“Oh, and you don’t try to run out on me right after I’ve gotten you to stop bleeding because your crew might fly the ship into an asteroid?”

Kirk didn’t answer.

Bones smirked. “I thought so.” He winced as McCoy pressed a sedative into his shoulder.

“Hey, how come you don’t put those in his neck?” Kirk asked.

“What do I look like, Kid, a vampire? The neck is a valid injection site, but I never use it.”

“Another strike against the ‘I’m just like him’ idea.”

McCoy took his final readings made sure a nurse was ready to assist him.

“All right we’re ready.”

As they began to move Bones’ bed into the next room Kirk’s arrogant front suddenly went away and he just looked scared.

“Don’t leave.”

“Jim?”

“I know I’m a control freak who projects arrogance to compensate for insecurities and I need you here to knock my head in for that, Bones, so you can’t leave me!”

Kirk grabbed Bones’ arm, gripped his hand and squeezed hard. Spock quickly came over and covered their hands with his own.

Bones smiled at them. “Thanks you two…for everything.” Then his eyes fluttered closed under the effects of the sedative.

With that McCoy moved him into surgery and they were gone.

***

They sat in the small waiting room anxiously. At the two hours mark Kirk stomped outside to pace around in the courtyard, and after watching him for half an hour the elder Spock came out to join him.

“Leonard is a gifted surgeon, Jim. The odds are in his favour.”

“Because Bones is destined to be with me even though I rejected him?”

“Jim, when I told you about all that I merely-"

“Was your destiny to cause me pain?” Kirk asked the Vulcan.

“Do not blame me, Jim, I did not make your choices for you.”

Kirk glared at the elder Vulcan. “But you influenced those choices! I’ve seen your world, your life, and I can’t un-see it! I know everything!”

“You know nothing.”

Kirk went back to glaring at the landscape.

“Why did you show me all that in that meld?”

“It was never my intention that you know so much, Jim. I only wished to show you the events that caused such devastation in your universe as swiftly and completely as possible. However, if my memories in any way influenced your desires of one another earlier then I cannot regret what happened.”

“Why not?”

“Because you could have so many more years with them than I will now.”

Kirk couldn’t help but be intrigued.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“In my universe an encounter with a doorway to a pocket universe where time did not exist robbed my Jim from Leonard and me for nearly eight decades. It robbed Jim of the chance to watch his grandchildren grow up. It robbed us all of the chance to truly grow old together. Even though we are together again now that time can never be given back.”

Kirk leaned against a nearby bench, thinking.

“Those kids…are they still around where you come from?”

“Yes.”

“Aren’t you robbing him of seeing them at all if you stay here?”

Spock pondered that question as they went back inside, perhaps he was.

They came back into the waiting area and found the younger Spock with Joanna now sleeping in his lap.

“Do you want me to take her?” Kirk asked.

Spock shook his head.

“You are good with her,” the elder Spock noted.

“Thank you.”

“Why won’t you do more for this relationship, Spock?” his asked his young counterpart. “Since you are attached to the child and you desire Jim and Leonard."

“Because I wished to be spared your pain,” Spock answered bluntly.

“My pain?”

“You spoke of what your Jim and your Leonard meant to you and I could see the pain they cause you be their leaving. I do not wish to know such pain.”

“Spock, I believed them both dead of course that loss hurt, but I had wonderful years with them that I would not trade for anything in the universe, even if they had not returned to me now. The benefits of the three of us being together far outweigh the pain of being alone without them.”

"Really?"

"Without a doubt."

Jim looked at his Spock. “We could have even more wonderful years in our own world, Spock.”

“I know, your counterpart has given me reason to think you deserve to know the people there.”

“It’s not just my ties to the people back home you know. You have your own relatives to consider. Your brother wants you home, Spock.”

Kirk sat up straight in his chair. “Brother?” he asked, and turned his head to look at his Spock.

Spock glared at the floor. He was forbidden to speak or think of Sybok and the destruction of his home world had not changed that.

“I do not know of whom he speaks.”

“I did not expect you to. You may be an only child, Spock, but I am not.”

Kirk just stared in shock.

“World isn’t so cut and dry as you thought is it?” Jim asked him.

“Don’t look smug, old man. You don’t know anything about me or what I think about all this!”

“You sure? You seem to think I do. You seem to think you’re just a carbon copy of me. Well, let me tell you right now, Kid, you’re not!”

Kirk shot out of his chair, but Jim was ready and quickly blocked his advance.

“You intend to let them simply carry on like this?” Spock asked his older self.

“My captain can hold his own in a fight even now, can yours?”

It seemed not as Jim got Kirk’s hands behind his back and pinned him to the wall.

“Now you listen up, Kid, and you listen good. You are a brash, arrogant, loud-mouth and I don’t think you could write a proper report to save your life.”

“Right, old man, you’re wonderful and I suck I get it!”

“I wasn’t finished! You’re also loyal, determined, and smart. I know, my Spock told all about your adventure with Nero. You’ll go far, Kid, but you can’t do that by looking back. You can’t keep comparing yourself to whatever you’ve seen me be. You need to start trusting in yourself and your crew and understand that your Spock and your Bones love you for you, not who you think you should be.”

Jim shifted his weight off Kirk and released him from his grip.

“And also you can’t fight worth a damn.”

Kirk dropped down into his chair.

“Gives speeches like that a lot do you?”

“It’s my thing.”

“Well I hope I never become such a windbag.”

“I hope so too. You shouldn’t be just like me, and you shouldn’t let yourself be so scared of what might come that you ignore what’s here and now.”

“Yes, your destiny is what you make of it. Even if it is not the way I would like to see it. I must let you live your lives on your own.”

Jim turned to his Spock a tiny flame of hope spreading through his chest.

“Spock, are you saying…?”

“We could stay, Jim, and give further aid I know that, but I see now that to do that would make us a crutch. They are too uncertain of themselves in our presence. We must step back and let it be, let them grow into whatever they will be on their own.”

Spock leaned over in his chair, taking Jim’s hand and pressing their fingers together in a Vulcan kiss.

“Take me home, Jim.”

“And once again you two decide everything without me,” McCoy’s voice called out from the door.

“Bones.”

Spock and Jim rushed up to him, staying on either side to support him as he slumped down in exhaustion.

“I’m too old for this.”

Jim chuckled. “Never, Bones.”

“How is he?” Spock asked as he and Kirk rushed up to them too.

“He pulled through just fine, and he’s got a clean bill of health. You can go see him just don’t-”

Kirk dashed into the other room shouting Bones’ name.

“Do that.”

They followed Kirk into the room to find him squeezing Bones tightly.

“Too tight,” Bones croaked out, and Kirk loosened his hold. “Haven’t I told you how to treat an invalid?”

Kirk just put his hands on either side of Bones’ face and kissed him deeply.

Bones smiled when Kirk pulled back. “That’s a good way to treat one.”

“I’m sorry, Bones, you were right, they’re right. Even if we just some weird spin-off of them I won’t not do this just because they did.”

“That’s what I wanted to hear.”

Kirk moved off the bed, but kept his hand wrapped tightly around Bones’.

“So we’re okay?” Kirk asked.

“Yeah we’re okay.”

“Good.”

Bones looked at Kirk seriously. “Promise that we’re really going to try, Jim.”

“I promise.”

“You agree to this too, Hobgoblin?” Bones asked, and both he and Kirk turned to look at Spock as he came up to the other side of Bones’ bed, putting Joanna, still asleep, next to Bones so he could hug her.

“Of course, with your attitude, Doctor McCoy, and the captain’s reckless behavior my presence in this relationship will be essential.”

“Hey!”

***

When Bones was well enough to travel again everyone, including their older selves, went back to the Enterprise. While several crewmembers asked many awkward questions during the trip they arrived at the proper planet without incident and both trios went down to the Guardian.

“Fascinating.”

Bones shivered. “It’s creepy.”

“I think it looks like a doughnut.”

McCoy rolled his eyes. “Kids these days have no respect for anything.”

Jim stepped up to the Guardian “Guardian, take us home.”

The middle of the Guardian smoked and then cleared to reveal Scotty, Uhura, Chekov, and Sulu still waiting for them. McCoy and Jim smiled, they weren’t too late after all.

“That’s your crew?” Kirk asked.

Jim shook his head. “No, that’s our family. In time you’ll have that too.”

Kirk smiled. “I think I’m getting there.”

Jim nodded, and smiled again. “Well, you three, I won’t say it’s been pleasant, but it was certainly fun.”

McCoy turned to Bones. “Try to keep those two out of trouble and take care of yourself too. You guys deserve peaceful long lives.”

“I’ll do my best and thank you for everything.”

The elder Spock looked at the three young men and held up his hand in the proper salute.

“Good luck.”

Then Jim, Spock, and McCoy held each others hands and stepped through the portal and back into their own world, never to be parted again.

Bones, Kirk, and Spock watched as their counterparts stepped through the gateway. It shimmered as they passed through it and then went blank. All at once the three younger men were alone.

“You know,” Bones said, “even after all that’s happened I’m really going to miss those guys.”

“Indeed.”

After a few minutes of silence Kirk slapped Spock and Bones on their backs and smiled.

“Well, you two let’s get back to where we belong.”

Kirk reached for his belt and flipped his communicator open.

“Scotty, three to beam up.”

The End


End file.
